Tears, screams, demands to do as the child wants - absolutely all parents face children's tantrums. A child having a tantrum is a difficult test for both parties. The child is trying to cope with rage, resentment and other feelings that are still difficult for him to withstand; the parents become irritated in response, feel guilty towards others and are often lost, worried about how it will look from the outside and do not know what can really help stop the hysteria. Children's tantrums are an important and necessary stage in the development of a child as a person. At a certain stage, this is the norm for a child’s development. The only way babies express their requests and demands is by screaming. They simply don’t know any other way. A baby who cannot yet speak also expresses his emotions by screaming. The child grows, so do his needs, and satisfying them seems to him to be of paramount importance. Without hesitation, he tries to speed up the moment of getting what he wants in the most accessible and proven way - by screaming. In preschool children, 3 states can be described: 1. When everything is fine with him and he remembers the rules and controls himself.2. The child feels discomfort, but is not able to recognize it, since the unpleasant sensations quickly intensify, the process of excitation begins to prevail over the process of inhibition. At this time, it is important and realistic to switch him to other things or come to an agreement with him.3. A state of hysteria in which it is useless to demand anything from a child, since he does not hear, does not perceive the speech of an adult, and does not control himself. Such hysterics end in nervous exhaustion and sleep. Hysterics can be both an indicator of a child’s emotional distress, a reaction to a traumatic situation for him, and a habitual way to get what he wants from an adult, and most often, both. When the child’s own strength is exhausted, there are no logical arguments left, he attracts the attention of others with hysterics. Hysteria can be a reaction to overload, to a situation that is out of control, in which protective and adaptation mechanisms do not work. Moving to another place of residence, the birth of a baby in the family, a new school. Each of these events is stressful for the child. The tendency to tantrums in these situations is a kind of informing adults about an uncomfortable state. During such periods, the child urgently needs the support and sympathy of his parents, their attention, love, and care. If a child constantly throws tantrums, it is important for parents to know how to behave in these situations. Ways to prevent children's tantrums and behavior in a hysterical situation.1. Be sure to show your child your disapproval by throwing tantrums. Without an audience, the child will most likely lose interest in the tantrum. It is important to understand that the parents’ reaction to hysterics is recorded by the child, and as soon as you change at least once to allow what was previously prohibited, the child will resort to this method next time.2. Show indifference. When a child throws a tantrum in a public place, we often feel shame. But those around you do not at all consider you a bad mother/father; in such a situation, they are more likely to sympathize. If you don't pay attention to your child's whims, this can be much more effective than anger, because often children are capricious only to attract attention. But be careful: the child’s behavior may even worsen at first. And if you still react, the intensity and duration of subsequent hysterics will increase. After all, the child will notice what a hysteria should be like in order to attract the attention of adults. But it is important to keep in mind that particularly suspicious and anxious children can enter such a deep state of hysteria that the presence or absence of a spectator does not in any way affect their behavior. The baby can no longer stop and calm down on his own; he cries without pause, and the uncontrollable crying turns into hiccups. In this case, you definitely need to intervene and help the baby calm down.3.Anticipate a tantrum and switch the child’s attention in time. It is important to timely record the moment when dissatisfaction can develop into hysteria. If you see that the child is not in a good mood, begins to get upset, irritated and capricious, distract his attention from his own problems: “Oh, look what a big truck drove by!” The technique works well on children under three years of age. But the main thing here is not to miss the moment when you can no longer be distracted! 4. Offer an alternative. Analyze the child’s behavior and the situations in which he usually begins to act up, and discuss possible consequences with him in advance. In this way, you will not only be able to protect yourself from childhood hysterics, but also teach your child to understand the cause-and-effect relationships of his own behavior and make the first important choices in his life.5. Direct your child's energy in a different direction. A child’s body responds to stress with an archaic fight or flight response. Therefore, sometimes, in order to prevent a crisis, you can offer the child an alternative in the form of sports games, which allow them to release the energy that has been accumulated for the implementation of the stress reaction. This will help them remain calm the rest of the time.6. Empathize, sympathize. Accepting a child’s experiences is a conversation as equals, and not from the position of an elder. Such a conversation is more productive and prepares the ground so that, as the child grows up, he begins to independently work on his problems. You can be sad with your baby together: hug him, tell him that you are upset too. The baby will feel that you understand him and will gradually calm down. 7. Name the child’s feelings. It is very difficult for young children to understand what is happening to them. They are not yet familiar with their own feelings, and it is difficult for them to withstand them. It is important that you help your child name his experiences and express your sympathy and understanding. For example, you can say that you also get angry when you don't get what you want. But you can be angry in different ways; not all forms of expressing feelings are useful and effective.8. It is very important to teach your child to cope with his emotions and express them in a different way. After the tantrum ends, talk to your child about this topic. Maybe he yells out of habit because he doesn't know how to express his anger any other way. Explain that all people can become angry and irritated. And mom and dad too, but they don’t fall to the floor and scream. You can express in words what makes your child angry and worried. Maybe the child will like expressing emotions through action: hitting a pillow, jumping, tearing up an old newspaper, drawing how he feels. Be sure to praise him for his civilized way of expressing anger.9. If tantrums are repeated constantly, isolate the child for this time. If possible, choose a special “hysterical place” where the child can roll around on the floor and scream to his heart’s content. It is important that there are no toys, TV or anything else interesting for the baby in the place of isolation. Tell him that he can come out when he calms down and stops screaming and crying. But the main thing is the parent’s peace of mind, which will help the child return to normal. 10. Don't be so quick to say no. Preventing children's tantrums is much easier than stopping them. Many parents say “no” too quickly, which can quickly bring children to the boiling point. Showing your child that you are on his side can help prevent conflict. An explanation is much better than a short, sharp “no.”11. Allow your child to make amends. There is not always a punishment for bad behavior. A child may feel terrible after doing something bad or wrong, and this in itself is a punishment. Allowing your child to do something that symbolically atones for his wrongdoing will nonverbally communicate to him that he was indeed wrong, but that you are willing to accept his apology - this will allow you both to move on.12. Involve your child in the fight against hysteria. A child's hysteria is a sign that he is not.