PART 3. These points below are a continuation of the articles above. There is no magic, no magic pills. You will have to work a little. I will continue the points... 8. At every moment in time it is important to recognize “where you are.” This, of course, is not about the territorial location, but about your condition. For example: “I live my normal life, there are a lot of events happening in the world, I’m worried/afraid/panicking... about it.” Or: “I live in my own house. But my life has changed a lot. I don't feel safe. Literally on my street, terrible events are happening for me. I'm scared/anxious. I can do this and that for myself...” It is important to make the picture clear. A clear picture can be treated clearly. What exactly am I worried about? How am I worried? This allows you not to drown in feelings, but to be in contact with them. If this point of concern resonates with you, you can even do a whole written assignment. It really works. The exercise is as follows: 1.) Rate your general condition on a 10-point scale. Where 1 means I’m calm like a boa constrictor, and 10 means I have a lot of different feelings. Write it down.2.) Next, take a sheet of A4 paper. Divide it into 4 columns: - Risks, threats, - Real assessment, - How do you feel about this, - What can I do about it (first a). – with experiences, then b.) with the risk/threat itself).3.) Next. Complete this form. Write down all your risks and concerns. Rate them as you would with real eyes evaluate the probability of this on a 5-point scale (1-very low probability, 5-very high probability, it definitely should be). For each item, write down what exactly you are experiencing about this item: anxiety, guilt, shame, fear, or, when you think about it, you lose your breath, have a panic attack, or something else. Write it all down. And the last column - what could you do with all this? How could this be helped? This also applies to my experience (a.) (for example, when I think about that... I panic... I can say such and such words to myself). This also applies to the actual risk, threat (b.) (for example, I can ask for help, I can do practices, I can make savings, I can temporarily move, etc.). 4.) The very last step. When you have done this exercise, look at your notes. And rate your current state: 1 – calm as a boa constrictor, 10 – a lot of feelings and experiences. 9. Acknowledge your feelings. When you have identified what is happening to you, it is important to rely on this, too, as part of your life now. Do not pretend that nothing is happening (this often happens). Recognize that “the world will never be the same.” It will be somehow different. Sometimes it is not known exactly how, but it will definitely happen somehow. At the same time that we are not living through simple times, many people are living through a crisis. A crisis is always a difficult place. You can get out of the crisis to your new level of yourself. Immediately I was asked the question: How can I understand whether I am anxious or in grief? My answer is: check with the body. The answer is right there, not in the head, in the body. Grief is the loss of something or someone with whom there was an emotional connection. Remember where you lost? Similar sensations in the body? No? So, what about anxiety? What do you want: to rush around, can’t find a place, heart pounding? - looks like anxiety. Anxiety often has no object. Grief has. No alarm. Something incomprehensible is happening to me, I’m afraid of uncertainty - anxiety. 10. Just be in feelings and live them. How is it? Very simple and difficult at the same time. If you build a graph of the experience, it would look like a parabola (like a horseshoe, a hill). We reach the peak, then the intensity subsides and the experience recedes. Of course, this is how it looks if we don’t slow ourselves down, don’t get scared by our experiences and we don’t have past negative experiences when our feelings were curtailed (“don’t cry”, “oh, don’t worry like that”, “stop”). . And everyone has this negative experience. Therefore, one way or another, we still slow down in living. This can be practiced and trained. Staying in the experience, giving it space inside and observing. I once did something so smallexercise. When I was overwhelmed by strong feelings. I cleaned up everything. She sat down in a chair. And she said to herself: “Okay, anxiety, anxiety. I'll unfold it. Then I kind of watched what was happening inside me - i.e. behind your body. Task: do not scold, do not slow down, do not shame, do not blame yourself for this. Observe, meet, accept, stay in it.” Strong feelings passed very quickly. 11. You can help yourself live through your feelings. How is this?! There is a “magic method”. Ideally, of course, if it is done by a specialist, then the effect, the result often exceeds all expectations. This method is called EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) or in the more common version EMDR. In action it looks very simple, banal and a little strange. It works great though. I myself have tried it on myself many times and use it in practice. This method helps you process strong feelings quickly and efficiently. Needless to say, the relevance of this method has increased dramatically in recent years. You can read on the Internet how to use it. Or go to free sessions, there are those. For example, in the telegram there is a “Channel of the humanitarian project of the EMDR Association of Russia”, https://t.me/+IuWFnFLwV6E5Yjgy Free sessions with the presenter are held there several times a week. Can be done online. 12. Events and information from the surrounding world are strung together on our experiences. I wrote above in part 1 about this my case. If I experience fear, do nothing about it, don’t notice it, don’t come into contact with it, then from the external environment I will “pick up” and highlight events, facts that will cause this fear "feed" What is very important here is to discover the experience in yourself. Contact him. Be honest with yourself about this. Process or live (see points above). 13. There is a lot of powerlessness. We can often encounter powerlessness now. What should I do with it? Write down what worries me in bullet points. Mark the points - given, I do not influence this / I can influence it, I choose at this moment in time. Here it can be difficult to really see what we choose and what we influence. And it can also be difficult to divide a large fact into parts. For example, we choose our place of residence. But we cannot make political decisions, I do not influence this, I do not occupy administrative leadership positions. 14. If we find ourselves “in some clearing,” then let’s plant flowers there! Everything that happens to us is an experience. All. Everything! That's all. And then we choose - either to suffer from the presence of experience, or to rely on it. Right now, choose whether you want to suffer or lean on. If you lean, then lean. What could you take away from all this? What's useful? What moral benefit did they receive? Look for her. If you don’t find it, then you’re not looking well). Those who seek will always find! For example, I will share my discoveries. Values ​​are always visible in a crisis. Something in my head fell away - it turns out I didn’t need it. But something remained and became more important. For example, relationships with people who are important to me. If it's important to me, then I invest in it. Once again it became clear: if you want to do something, do it, don’t put it off. Tomorrow it will be very foggy. As they say in memes now, you can only plan for 10 minutes. Live in the here and now. Don't put off until tomorrow what you can do today. 15. Pay attention to the body. Our childish part lives in the body. We experience our emotions through her. Only in adulthood can we name them. In general, you should always pay attention to the body. Not only when it's bad. It is in the body that all the answers are found. If you don’t really understand what exactly you are experiencing, start simply observing the body for 3 minutes. At first you will discover: something somewhere stings, presses, pinches, somewhere it’s warm, cold, tickles. Then it will become more and more clear what kind of emotion is walking in the body. The body remembers everything. The body puts into itself what we cannot live for some reason (not enough resources, no skill to notice, no place for this, alone