From the author: It is impossible to make an objective rating of problems. It is impossible to say for whom it is easier and for whom it is more difficult. And is the grief of the one who has lost two legs greater than the one who has lost one? I am running a marathon about self-love and in connection with this I was asked a question: - How to accept and love yourself if, as a result of an accident, a serious defect in appearance has arisen? At the risk of receiving comments from the series: “it’s easy for you to say”... I’ll still try to answer :- A 14 year old schoolgirl thinks that her pimple on her nose is the end of the world, terrible horror!!! she feels so bad at this moment, she does not accept herself at this moment... that it is impossible to explain to her that her trouble is not a problem, her arms and legs are intact and there have been no accidents in her life. No. Try telling such a teenager that her problems are nonsense in comparison with someone else... At the moment of her suffering, it is subjectively the same as that of the one whose trouble will be greater. Subjectively. But there can be no objectivity in this matter. Some kind of wrong nose (too long, too snub-nosed) in the opinion of another girl from birth, because of which she hates herself... no better (in her opinion) than a physical defect after an accident. A girl who hates her nose might even say: “You’re lucky, at least you were born beautiful, but I was born with a very different nose, I suffered from birth and have never known a single happy day in my life.” "... Why am I writing this? Moreover, the mechanism of self-acceptance will be the same for the three heroines of this post. Accepting yourself doesn't even mean being completely satisfied with yourself. Acceptance is saying YES to yourself. To myself as I am. Because nothing can be changed without acceptance. Not accepting yourself is living in the past or in an imaginary world. For example, before the accident... or in a world where there was no accident. But the past is no more. There is no imaginary world either. There is a present. It is what it is. It's offensive... or cruel... or beautiful - these words are just assessments. Has there ever been such a thing in your life when you met a person with an unpleasant appearance for you? Perhaps you even shuddered when you first saw him... and then you talked to him, took a closer look, got used to it... and after some time you already asked yourself the question: “why didn’t I like him so much at first sight? “Accepting yourself begins with getting to know yourself. Getting to know each other begins with paying attention to yourself. Including in the mirror. First of all, in the mirror. Look at yourself. Get to know yourself. With the new you. But if it hurts too much... subjectively it hurts too much. Not because after an accident there is more right to this pain than a girl who is dissatisfied with her figure... comparisons are not appropriate here. Personally for you. It hurts too much. So you need to get support. Preferably professional. But a good friendly one will also do. An image of your past self lives in your head. And it does not fit in with what the mirror reflects. Reconcile these images. And also... stop considering yourself a “special case”. It always seems that “I have the most problematic problems, it’s easy for others to say... it’s easy for others to accept themselves, but only I have objective reasons for not loving myself... and give me some super special remedy , stronger (other) than the rest." But you can't compare. It is impossible to make an objective rating of problems. It is impossible to say for whom it is easier and for whom it is more difficult. And is the grief of the one who has lost two legs greater than the one who has lost one? We see millions of examples of physically healthy and at the same time unhappy people who do not accept themselves. And we see thousands of examples of people who are less fortunate in life, but have more light in their eyes and happiness in their souls. And they accept themselves as they are. Not because they are absolutely satisfied. But because acceptance is about something else. Only by accepting the situation (yourself) can you change something. without acceptance there will be no change. because non-acceptance = denial. you can't change what doesn't exist. you can only change what is. only what was accepted. But my words are unlikely to be heard).