Adultery is a marker, a symptom of an unhappy marriage. Adultery can talk about the unmet needs of spouses in marriage. Not receiving something in the family, the spouse looks for it on the side. Not every family can overcome betrayal. Therefore, it is easier to deal with marital relationships at the first “bells” of dissatisfaction than to subject your marriage to such a test. American researcher, author of the book “His Needs, Her Needs: Building a Marriage Without Cheating” Willard Hadley conducted an experiment involving more than 800 couples and identified the basic needs of men and women in marriage, when satisfied, spouses consider each other irresistible. Thus, there are five needs in marriage, the satisfaction of which sharply reduces the possibility of adultery. Here they are: 1. For women, this is the need for tenderness. When a man gives a woman flowers, hugs her, kisses her, holds her hand, the woman feels that her partner loves her as a woman. Men have a need for sexual satisfaction. Often in therapy, women complain about the lack of tenderness on the part of men; as a rule, the same women share that they regularly deny intimacy to their husbands. These needs are paired: if a man does not show tenderness, he will not receive sex, if a woman refuses her husband sexual communication, he will not show tenderness. 2. In women: the need to talk. A woman needs a man to listen to her and to react emotionally to what her spouse shares. During the courtship period, couples talk a lot, showing each other their interest and love. Women expect this interest to continue into marriage. As a result of the study, W. Hadley found that to satisfy this need, a woman needs about 15 hours a week of her partner’s undivided attention. This is about 2 hours a day. For a man, a woman should be a good companion for relaxation and entertainment. Often, before marriage, women are happy to get involved in partner entertainment: go fishing, watch football, etc. In marriage, they try to captivate their partner with their leisure time. Or they simply allow their partner to relax and have fun alone. This can be very dangerous for a marriage because, to their surprise, men place great importance on their spouse's ability to become a faithful companion in recreation and entertainment. 3. A woman's need is honesty and openness of her husband. A woman needs the truth, both in everyday matters and in emergency cases, both in small things and in large matters. If a man hides information or cheats, his reliability for a woman is destroyed. A woman may feel unsafe. A man's need: physical attractiveness of his wife. This need has two aspects. The first is the opportunity to present an attractive woman to society as a wife. The second aspect is that in a love relationship it is difficult for a man to value his wife only for her spiritual qualities. Men have a deep need for physical attractiveness for their spouse. 4. A woman needs enough money. Perhaps there is never a lot of money, but at the same time there is a very specific amount that is enough for life, when there is security and confidence in the future. Women want to have a free choice between being a housewife and a career. A man needs the comfort of home. A man's need for tranquility and the comforts of home is so great that he often fantasizes about his wife greeting him with joy and love at the door of a house where well-behaved children welcome him and invite him to join the comfort of a well-ordered home. This fantasy continues in that his wife invites him to sit down and relax before a delicious dinner. Next, the family goes for an evening walk, after which the children calmly go to bed. They then relax with their wife, talk, watch TV for a bit, then go to the bedroom to have sex. Wives may laugh at this scenario. Reality is often. +7(925)537-98-40