We often mistakenly believe that since a child is not yet an adult, it means that he can not be respected yet. Well, what did the kid do, what did he achieve to be respected? While he is a baby, he has no knowledge or experience, which means there is nothing to respect him for yet. Let him deserve it. Only history is respectfully shaped the other way around. First, you need to communicate with the child respectfully, and only then he will begin to respect himself, others will respect him. Sometimes we completely forget that we are small, so it seems to us that since we don’t particularly remember anything from distant childhood, then again we can communicate with the baby for now from above, he still won’t remember it. In fact, disrespectful treatment of a child causes him emotional distress. Children are more sensitive, more unprotected and vulnerable than adults, and seemingly forgotten childhood pain often returns with some kind of adult difficulties. A disrespectful attitude does not contribute to mutual understanding and good contact between parent and child. And usually we want this so much! And of course, raising a confident and successful person is hardly possible in conditions of belittling the child’s dignity. A child experiences discomfort from humiliation, just like an adult. In order to understand how a child feels during disrespectful communication, it is enough to imagine yourself in his place. Or try to imagine how we use the same tone and the same phrases to address our boyfriend/girlfriend, for example. ? Is there a difference in how you address your child and your friend? Would you be able to address her with the same phrase and intonation when communicating, or would you convey your message to her differently (in a different tone and words)? Let's see if we can talk to adults like this: - Faster, move your feet faster, the tram won't wait for you! - It’s an amazing thing, as soon as you approach the tape recorder, it breaks! Don't touch things if you haven't learned how to handle them! - Close the door on the other side! - Wipe your mouth immediately, you're sitting there as dirty as a pig! - Well, what are you doing here? Leave the room, you see the adults are talking! - Shut up, you can’t behave like that here! - I cooked so that you would fall asleep over a full plate?! - Raise your legs higher, drag them behind you like an old grandfather! - Stop disgracing me, I'm already jumping all over like a monkey! Probably not. Is there any way I can change my interaction with my child? Surely yes. What can you take note of and start using? Before you address your child, think about whether you would talk to your girlfriends (friends) in a similar tone. If not, change the phrase and intonation so as not to tower over the baby and not offend him. And yes, this will not happen right away, so there is no point in blaming yourself. It's better to praise. For changing. The child is humiliated by groundless or unexplained prohibitions. We have already said that in an achievable ideal (everyone has their own) there should be a minimum number of prohibitions in a child’s life, but if there is something a child cannot do, be sure to spend time explaining it. "I said so!" and “That’s how it should be!” they belittle the child’s dignity, the parent appears to be so big and all-knowing, and the child is small and seemingly “stupid.” Try not to scold your child or talk about his mistakes in the presence of other adults or his peers - this humiliates the child. If you are talking about a child in his presence, then try to include him in the conversation and address him with words and by turning your head and body. We often don’t even suspect that ignoring a child is very offensive to him. “And I have the same situation - mine doesn’t eat anything at school, he says that the food there is bad. And he doesn’t even like porridge and cabbage at home. I don’t know what to do with him right now!” “Mine” stands next to him and looks at his mother and her friend, but no one pays attention to him, as if he is “an empty place.” It's insulting and humiliating, isn't it? Try to talk with your child as an equal, as with an adult. Watch your words and tone towards your child until respectful communication becomes a regular habit. Quite often my parents)