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I invite you to explore how, throughout his life, the great Russian writer answered questions about the meaning of life. Nineteen-year-old Tolstoy writes in his Diary: “I would be the unluckiest of people if I had not found goals for my life - a general and useful goal, useful because the immortal soul, having developed, will naturally pass into a higher being and corresponding to it. Now my whole life will be an active and constant striving towards this one goal,” - already here we can note that Tolstoy was a deeply religious man. Indeed, the religious "answer" to the "question" of meaning is very common. When analyzing Catherine’s “Order,” Tolstoy came to the conclusion that the law, “to be perfect, must be identical to the moral law.” And this would become his most important conviction throughout his life. Based on the results of Tolstoy’s life, he can hardly be called the happiest of people: in adulthood he experienced a crisis of meaning, and it is not to say that he came out of it. I thought a lot about meaninglessness and suicide: “Five years ago a strange state of mind began to take possession of me: I had moments of confusion, a stop in life, as if I did not know how I should live, what I should do. ...These stops in life always arose with the same question: “why?” and “why?”... Is there a meaning in my life that will not be destroyed by the inevitable death awaiting me?.. These questions demanded an answer with increasing insistence and, like dots, gathered into one black spot,” - here the meaning is replaced by meaninglessness . Why create the meaning of life if it, along with this very life, will be destroyed. It sounds pessimistic, but what if we call the “lack of meaning” “freedom from meaning”? Disappointment in an impeccable and righteous life made Tolstoy's view of creativity and life in general rather pessimistic. There is an opinion that Tolstoy was a cruel husband and father; he deprived his family of a large part of their inheritance and cheated on his wife. His behavior was not typical of his noble status; he was despotic and religious, promoting ideas that, according to some researchers, formed the basis of the ideology of socialism. I do not undertake to evaluate Tolstoy’s actions and words, but his behavior can be called destructive. Modern psychiatrists agree that Tolstoy had a depressive disorder with a hysterical radical. In his twilight years, Lev Nikolayevich was unable to appreciate what a wonderful, fulfilling life and creativity he had - as psychologists would say now: due to an existential crisis and depression . The article was written for the purpose of education, but not for the purpose of evaluating. The great writer’s view on the topic of the meaning of life is just one answer (albeit skillfully described) to the colossally complex and, perhaps, central question of human existence; a question that seems to have no single correct answer. I will continue to describe how outstanding thinkers of different eras answered this question: from ancient philosophers to French existentialists. What answer do you give to this question for yourself? Please share in the comments, I will be interested in reading! I think it is important not so much to answer the question as to ask it. And if it’s difficult to figure it out on your own, turn to the most effective tool - existential therapy Ksenia Demakhina (telegram: kspodvodoy)

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