Just yesterday you felt good together, you spent enough time together, you trusted each other with your secrets, it seemed like there was complete mutual understanding. You were sure that it would always be like this - after all, you had been friends for many years. And then something happened, it ended abruptly and it all disappeared at once. You didn’t conflict, you didn’t share anything or anyone (almost never), but one day your Ex-Best stopped all contacts and didn’t explain her decision in any way. You know that she is alive and well, everything is fine with her and now she has another social circle of her own, and she absolutely does not want to “become friends” with you again. Naturally, now you are offended, upset and the main questions are “Why did this happen? » what am I supposed to do ?" First of all, it is important not to rush into decisions and wait until the degree of negative emotions decreases. How much to wait? - everything depends on the situation. Decide on the answers to exciting questions: “How to make peace?” “Are there such opportunities, and is there any point in doing all this?” Or admit that your relationship is exhausted and all that remains is to thank you for the friendship you had. Perhaps you will never know the true reason or set of reasons why she “left” your relationship, even if your friendship returns to you. But, to receive any explanation of the reasons and motives, it is necessary, first of all, for you, so that ignorance and misunderstanding torment you as little as possible. Nothing happens suddenly or just like that, as a rule, there are reasons for everything and the truth is, each of you will have your own . Finding answers to all your pressing questions, determining the cause of the breakup, or answering the question of what to do in such a situation will most likely be difficult. Few of us break up with others by speaking frankly about the reasons that destroyed our relationships, especially in cases where the relationship deteriorated imperceptibly, misunderstandings accumulated over a long time and, for many reasons, your friendship came to naught. A quarrel, a crisis or a break in relations - time will tell. It is important to clarify the situation for yourself in order not to make mistakes in future relationships, to determine for yourself which moments of the relationship should not be missed or allowed. And you have the opportunity to understand the situation and draw conclusions for the future.1. Analyze the situation on your own or with someone you trust, which will require certain mental strength and sometimes courage. Analyzing the past, you will find examples of events that have long “signaled” that your friendship is going through a crisis and is no longer as strong and reliable as it was before. Most likely, the breakup was long overdue, and some careless word, action or any significant events in your life that you missed or did not attach the necessary importance to simply worked as a detonator. It is worth reflecting on what made her patience so full. In any case, this stage must be completed in order to determine your further actions. One of the difficult questions at this stage is: “Was it a real friendship or just friendship?” We often mistakenly mistake communication for friendship based on the following factors that closely connect us, including the usual community of interests (territorial, professional, and leisure). We live in the same house, in the same yard, dorm, etc. connected territorially; we study, work together (connected professionally); we have the same company, we go to discos together, take the same courses, etc. - connected leisurely. Often the determining role is played by status or financial situation, connections, success, mutual benefit, etc. that is, only what this person currently owns, but not the person himself as a person. and in fact, it may turn out that your best friend and you were just temporary traveling companions on each other’s path in life. And this is not always a bad thing either.Serious reasons leading to the breakdown of any relationship can be that we criticize and ridicule each other (even occasionally and seemingly harmlessly), especially when one of you becomes such an object. New events happen in life, new circumstances appear, and these relationships change or end. There is another important factor - one considers himself a friend of the other, and for the other he is only a good acquaintance or friend. But in such cases, disappointment in a “friend” is inevitable and is often perceived as a betrayal. It is not always possible to maintain friendship when a male passion, a new acquaintance, a new circle of friends appears in the lives of friends, and one of us already lacks communication and attention from the other. And how innocent flirting with someone else’s loved one tests the strength of friendship! Many will give examples of how many strong relationships have been “shaken” by the desire to single-handedly lead the relationship. It tests the strength of a change in the social status of one of you, as well as the financial relationship between you, etc. Moreover, jealousy, selfishness, envy and hypocrisy in any relationship and in friendship too are generally common phenomena that drive many people in different directions. All this is connected with personal changes in each. But a significant problem, and most often the main one, is the presence of differences in outlook on life and moral standards. In general, this is the most serious and significant reason, since all other problems can be solved by agreement or compromises. Examples of many human stories prove that making concessions in matters of worldview or morality can be not so much difficult as impractical. Therefore, if serious disagreements have already emerged, it is necessary to assess whether they outweigh the value of friendship and whether it is even possible under these conditions. If the accumulated, but “deeply hidden” grievances have done their dirty work, and the result is known, it will take a lot of effort to restore and improve the relationship. Analyze not only the quantitative characteristics of friendship, but also the qualitative ones. When something that used to unite goes away, most often the strongest friendships collapse and communication simply fades away. This needs to be accepted, the time has come to break up or move to the status of “acquaintances” and not friends, but clarity of the situation would greatly facilitate everything. We all change throughout our lives, our worldview changes - this is a normal phenomenon, this is not because one of you has become bad and the other has become good, you have become different and each of you will have your own life. Sometimes we are not ready to voice our arguments clearly, so we try to avoid any explanations. Friendship can go without proof for a long time, and only life events that reveal us as a person determine who we are to others and the significance of our relationships for us. In true friendship, there is initially mutual interest. Only true friendship can withstand the test of strength and time. When the reasons for the situation are more or less clear, an analysis of the situation will help you answer the question - is your relationship exhausted or is the relationship going through a crisis. However, you are still faced with the question: what to do? On the one hand, you don’t want to lose a loved one, you want to make constructive changes in your relationship, and on the other hand, why you have to be the initiator. What steps will help you correct this situation? 2. Take the first step towards. The advisable action would be to take steps towards reconciliation yourself, even if you were not the initiator of the breakup. Feel free to throw out the stereotypes from your head that this is humiliating, and that the weak take the first step, that you have no pride, dignity and self-respect. Approximately 60% of all problems in relationships between people are resolved with one frank conversation. Ask her about the reasons why she made this decision and let her speak. Eat.