You've been together for 1-2-3-...twenty years, and everything seems to be fine, and something not so good. You look at your man, and thoughts wander through your head: “Why did I choose him?.. What did I find in him?.. Do I love him?.. Should we continue to be together?..” Such doubts may arise. at different periods of a couple's life. How to get through them and save the relationship? Today I will talk about the actions of a woman, first of all, about how she can take care of herself. Anxious thoughts can be a signal of devastation or exhaustion in a woman. This can be compared to professional burnout. Only a woman “burns out” in a relationship, in a family. When this can happen: - when you devote too much time, effort, energy to a man, children, home - and at the same time you put yourself in last place after them. Then it turns out that you are too you give too much and replenish yourself too little. Here, perhaps, some of you expected to read “you take too little.” Today I will not write about give-take relationships, so that, on the one hand, I do not go into dependent relationships, and on the other hand, I do not delve into the topic of “How much to take, how to take, how often to take...” in healthy relationships. Therefore today I will focus on how to help yourself, how to “feed” yourself, how to make your life easier and help maintain healthy relationships. - Study yourself inside and out. - Find what you like to do, what makes you happy. Your eyes light up, what gives you strength and vigor, what literally “nourishes and saturates” you. - Make your resource list. Let everything listed above be there. So, my friend, realizing that she began to “break” at both her husband and children during her second maternity leave, organized girls’ get-togethers. The girls got together, talked at home over a hearty table, or went to a dance in a good cafe. This way she was distracted from her home routine, spent time with pleasure and filled herself with positive energy. Another friend of mine, having gotten married and planning children, continued to develop her business, coming up with various new projects. So she left time for herself and devoted it to herself. Another friend, when she feels the blues, goes for a manicure or to the salon. You can give yourself a beautiful manicure if it fills you with positivity. For some, it’s enough to take a bath with fragrant foam and aromatic oils or read an interesting book. In short, at the moment when everything is fine with you and nothing is bothering you, take a notepad and pen and make your resource list. Place it in an accessible place. Even your husband can read it. And when a period of loss of strength comes, open the list and complete at least 3 points from it as soon as possible. Or maybe your man will help and do something pleasant for you. If it was really a matter of improper use of energy, and you have found your balance in life, the relationship will continue and even enter a new stage of development. If you were able to take care of yourself, if everything is fine inside you, but anxiety in the relationship remains, you can always turn to a psychologist to understand the situation and together find the right solution for yourself. I wish you not to jump out of the relationship if it seems that “the battery is dead.” Try to understand yourself in this situation first. Be happy, Olga Fomina