Everyone has their own destiny, from which you cannot escape, no matter how hard you try; you can indulge yourself with various illusions, but in the final scene you will still appear as what you really always were. (Muriel Barbery "The Elegance of a Hedgehog") How much money is enough for happiness and why do we need it? Worrying about finances often poisons life. But the reason for this is our attitude towards money, and not objective economic reality. We unwittingly draw money into all significant areas of life, our dreams and goals, into relationships with others and security issues, we begin to measure our own freedom and significance with it. It often seems financial to us freedom - a large amount of money (wealth). It seems that money gives us the opportunity to completely control our lives and thus feel secure. Is this true? I'll tell you the story of one family, it seems to me the most revealing. Prologue A husband and wife (let's call them Vasya and Masha) moved to Europe from one of the former Soviet republics 20 years ago. The family has two children - the eldest is 20, the youngest is 6. For the first 15 years, there was no talk of any integration into the life of the “new Motherland”. There was a small business left at home, which consistently brought in a decent income. The business belonged to Masha, who had every reason to consider herself a successful businesswoman. All that had to be done, with the Machine's competent management, was to periodically travel to the Motherland and return with a substantial amount to his beloved Vasya and eldest son. Since in their new homeland they were considered unemployed, they received social assistance to rent an apartment and support their family, as well as referrals to various language and professional courses. Since no one was going to work in the new conditions, or learn the language, all these proposals were ignored under various pretexts. And they lived happily for 15 long years in love and joy. Vasya read a lot, looked after his son in the absence of his wife, Masha delighted her husband and son with expensive gifts, and her husband and son warmed her with tenderness and love. Here, it seems, that same Western fairy tale came true - free, rich people who love each other. And everything would be wonderful, but... Masha had, (in fact, it never went away), one big pain, an old one childhood trauma that gave rise to a lot of fears and self-doubt. Once in her youth, she decided that big money would solve this problem, she would believe in herself and the old childhood pain would no longer remind of itself. Time passed, neither her own home nor wealth solved the main problem. Only my beloved Vasya, listening, comforting, supporting, remained close from year to year. Then it was decided to move to Europe (to improve their “insufficient” status). This also didn't help much. It turned out that no one is interested in her status here, she has to communicate in the same environment as at home, and the envy of her compatriots still does not bring relief. Years go by, mental anguish continues, and, as often happens, Masha makes another attempt to escape from herself - gives birth to a second child (“so that it’s like people’s”). It turns out that it is also impossible to immerse yourself in children and family (anxiety and fear are growing), and then the business gradually begins to fall apart (in the former homeland there is trouble - war). All Masha’s thoughts are about how to save and take out at least part of the capital and certainly not at all about blissful motherhood. Masha’s main feelings finally become anxiety and control (the usual support leaves from under her feet). Vasya continues to listen to the same old story of his beloved wife, patiently wiping away her tears, and begins to slowly drink. Anxious Masha comes up with another business project, designed to cure her of pain that has been exhausting her for years - to buy her own house in Europe (few people here have their own housing - it is expensive and not always profitable, taking into account loans, investments and possible relocations associated with changing jobs). I will omit the details related to obtaining loans and buying a house. I can only say that the result was a complete change in the lifestyle of the entire family. Not used to hard workseboritis-Vasya was “temporarily” (until Masha builds a successful business in the new conditions of a foreign country), got a job in a neighboring country and now comes home only for two days off. Masha is learning the language, at the same time, forgetting about her diploma in economics A Soviet-era university, re-studying economics courses and... working in a store. The eldest son, having graduated from high school, even continuing his professional education, in excellent company, is in background depression and is overweight. The youngest has problems with his peers. Masha, having found herself after the brilliant position of a businesswoman working “for her uncle with a mop in her hands,” gradually turns into a nervous, embittered, intimidated child, nevertheless, firmly believing that “this won’t last long” and now “a little more” and his career will go uphill. Meanwhile, Vasya, from a gentle, kind, understanding, comforting and supportive husband, has turned into a gloomy, tired man, who is annoyed by both the child and the “always whining” wife, who does not understand the severity and hopelessness of his life, with hard, uninteresting work away from home. Now he needs support and he doesn’t have the resources to wipe away Masha’s tears. Result: The big new house is cold and lifeless. The short time spent together is spent expressing mutual claims, reminding of previous sins, presenting moral and material accounts to each other. In the family, where love and understanding always seemed to reign, poorly concealed irritation and dissatisfaction with each other and each individual’s own life settled in. The youngest child waits all weekend for his father to finally leave and for his mother to spend at least some time with him before sleep. Masha, who has taken on her studies, work, home and child, is sinking deeper and deeper into depression, from which a way out into somatics is already visible. Hating their current life, they both believe that “soon they will live again as before.” Vasya will read books and ride luxury cars. Trauma machines will heal themselves as soon as money flows in like a river. They will both relax and enjoy life. Adults, intelligent, educated people, in full confidence that they have everything under control, do not control the most important thing - the reality of their own lives, overflowing with illusions. They don’t see how their own lives go by, taking with them joy, satisfaction, health, relationships. They don’t see how they are losing their family. How they skip past their real desires in the pursuit of wealth, and stop hearing themselves and others. Now they are just over 40 and they are sure that “all this is temporary” and that “several years” will pass (!!!) and Masha will again have a lot of money, “guaranteeing a position in society” (security), as well as a loving and patient Vasya , as a “vest for tears.” There’s just one circumstance that is not taken into account. The human psyche is one big container from which nothing ever disappears on its own. And the fatigue accumulated over these “several years,” anger at each other for not fulfilling their usual roles, unsatisfied needs, lack of understanding and compassion for each other, will remain with them forever, just like Machine’s childhood trauma, which at one time gave impetus to this the race for wealth and status, designed to heal this trauma and not cured. A new round of this race will suffer the same fate, since the mistake lies at the very basis of the belief that inner harmony, integrity, love and understanding can be bought. Buy, becoming steeper than all the mountains and boiled eggs, turning your life and the lives of your loved ones into a painful neurotic story, with a tragic end known in advance. When a person turns his life into a continuous race for money, what does he really want? Money itself - this is, indeed, a kind of equivalent of something. For most people it is status, freedom and security. Those. A person did not receive the so-called “basic security” in childhood and did not develop it from the experience of adult life either. If money is needed for freedom, there are problems with self-identity, i.e. confidence that)