In the West, it is considered normal to have your own personal psychologist, as well as a gynecologist, dentist and hairdresser. And it is customary to solve your psychological problems not in the kitchen with a neighbor or girlfriend, not with friends in the garage over a bottle of vodka, but with a psychologist. Sociological surveys show that Russians are not ready to solve their problems with a psychologist (only 2% of Russians are ready to turn to psychologists in difficult situations). A psychologist is associated, at best, with a person who treats “crazy people”; at worst, he is equated with fortune-tellers. If a person feels that his life is falling apart, he has been laid off from his job, his husband is cheating, his children are getting sick, then this is definitely the evil eye or damage. After all, it is much easier to come to a magician who will clear karma in half an hour than to spend long hours solving your problems with a psychologist. Why do we believe that qualified psychological help is not needed, and people are wary and embarrassed to turn to psychologists? We addressed this question to the head of the psychological center “Assistance,” psychologist Anna Khnykina. Nowadays, anyone has access to a huge amount of information on psychology. It turns out that if you want and have free time, you can find answers to all your questions. Then the question arises: “Maybe you can figure out your problems on your own, without turning to a psychologist?” Yes, you are absolutely right, many even treat their illnesses on the Internet. Everyone has this right. You can even treat and pull out teeth yourself. And, in principle, any fool can fix shoes himself, if he has the desire. And you can sew your own shoes too. And build houses... Any person, of course, is capable of a lot on his own, it’s hard to argue with that. In your opinion, why are psychologists needed? What problems are they designed to solve? I would once again emphasize that a psychologist does not work with a problem, but with the person as a whole. The range of psychological problems that you can find solutions to while working with a psychologist is quite wide. Their most common types are: troubles in the family, difficulties at work, unsettled personal life, difficulties in communication, etc. One way or another, they manifest themselves in relationships with oneself, with loved ones, with society as a whole. Well, first of all, psychologists are not called upon to solve problems. This is probably the most important misconception in the idea of ​​us. What you and I call a “problem” one way or another manifests itself in the discomfort that we experience and in feelings that are difficult to survive. And in order to start working on yourself, it is more important to have a desire to solve the problem than to determine its name. They say that weak and wretched people who are unable to independently resolve their own problems go to psychologists and psychotherapists. Do you agree? A very important component of working with a psychologist is applying knowledge in practice. You can read, gain an endless amount of knowledge, but why do you need it? Will I have a chance to use them? “Just understanding” does not mean “changing something in your life.” A psychologist can help you learn new skills and make them a “learned experience.” It is generally accepted that only a truly strong and responsible person can admit their weakness. The one who comes to a psychologist is a person who has already done a fair amount of digging into himself, both alone and with friends, read some books, the Internet and... realized that in order to sort out the confusion in his head, he must walk in circles, search for new solutions among already known ones, a certain structure of knowledge is needed, otherwise you will only get more confused. It’s the other way around: smart, thinking people go to a psychologist, it turns out like this. - How does a psychological consultation take place? As a rule, this is a meeting in a cozy office, in a pleasant, comfortable atmosphere. They ask you endless questions, offer to play with something, come up with something... so an hour passes unnoticed... You leave, you “feel good for some reason,” and then you analyze what it was. Something like this.- What to expect and what not to expect from the consultation and help of a psychologist? You should not expect magic pills,ready-made solutions, answers to questions like “Tell me, what should I do???” or “What can I do with my child/husband/boss to change his behavior?” You should expect: amazing discoveries, a non-standard vision of the situation, questions that lead to confusion. You may be asked to play cards or toys (or even in the sandbox!), sit on different chairs, choose a colored ribbon to suit your taste, they may even ask you what you think your shoes would say now... And all this is absolutely serious. - Does going to a psychologist mean that a person wants to change something in his life and is afraid to make a decision on his own? Does it mean that he wants to change something in his life? The fact that he is afraid is not at all necessary. An appeal to a psychologist indicates that a person understands that he may simply not know something. Don't see in front of your nose. Err. It’s better seen from the outside, don’t you agree? Especially when you know where to look. And especially when you are an outside observer. Does the psychologist give advice? And does he even have the right to do this? There are different schools. Coaches, for example, do just that. And that’s okay: coaching is mentoring. Child psychologists give recommendations to parents on raising their child. Can this be considered advice? I think so. Another thing is that a psychologist will not give you ready-made solutions, but will help you find and accept the only right one for you. - What is the responsibility of a psychologist? Very generally speaking: in the awareness of your actions. The level and quality of the education received should provide an understanding of what to take on and what not to take on. When and what to say. The fact is that in the absence of a high level of qualifications, another psychologist may not know what exactly harms the work. That even for a minute to think about your loved one during a session is a very indicative sign of something that requires elaboration... Unfortunately, many of the specialists are dropouts, neophytes, advisers and simply brave men. You have to be able to figure it out, you shouldn’t go to the first one you come across, which is closer and cheaper - that’s for sure. It is true that words can kill. And this is about us. - Why is a psychologist able to understand problems and difficulties better than friends and other close people? First of all, because he does not judge anyone, does not evaluate and has no personal interest. And also because he knows how to do it. He has a different vision of what you call the “problem.” Many people perceive a psychologist as a wise person who knows the answers to many questions. Many people perceive a psychologist as an ideal person who is not angry, does not grieve, is not afraid, and does not experience despondency. Can a psychologist need the help of a psychologist? Absolutely! All world training standards stipulate the minimum required number of hours of personal study. All practicing psychologists know about this and undergo personal therapy constantly or periodically. This is important to do for many reasons. A psychologist is a trained person who is alone during an appointment, but in the rest of his life he is a completely different, ordinary person. This is not a preacher of moral values, but a toolkit for your inner disclosure. In addition, he is a living person who rejoices, gets angry, grieves and suffers, like all other people. Just because a person became a psychologist, he did not cease to be a simple living person. - Can a psychologist’s client, as a result of psychological assistance in some matters, become happier and more successful than the psychologist himself? Of course he can! But “being a psychologist” does not necessarily mean being happy and successful - there are all kinds of psychologists, and they are, in fact, ordinary people, just between you and me. - Well, before, somehow people lived without psychologists, and they lived nothing normally. Didn't you have any psychological problems before? And why can’t we live without psychologists now? Why can’t you? - You can! It's just better with us. After all, in a psychologist’s office no one “reshapes” you. They help you find your own resources within yourself, in family history, in!