There is a myth that alcoholism is not a disease, but a lack of willpower. But alcoholics are fine with their will: in the heat and cold they are ready to do anything to get alcohol. The problem is rooted in a splitting of consciousness, in a certain duality, in a conflict between the sensible conscious part and the dependent part, the one that pushes previously set goals and objectives into the background. People who think that while they can abstain from alcohol for some time, work and there is a family, there is no need to worry about their condition and in general, since they don’t drink yet, they are not alcoholics. However, “pull yourself together” is a completely pointless activity. Setting a goal: “just don’t drink” greatly strains volitional efforts and directs them towards a meaningless struggle with alcohol, often with disastrous results. In this fight with the “green snake,” the alcoholic sooner or later suffers defeat. “Just not drinking” is not the goal of recovery. An alcoholic does not have a problem with alcohol, he has difficulties with life without it. It is very difficult, and sometimes unbearable, for an addicted person to adequately perceive reality, whatever it may be. And just being patient and holding on by the teeth in sobriety is not the best solution. Patience has one property: it ends sooner or later and then a breakdown is inevitable. A true alcoholic has never been able to simply resist drinking. A list of the main, in my opinion, recovery goals that are important, necessary and can be achieved in the treatment of alcoholism: reconstruction of the integrity of a person’s personality, restoration of internal state, adequate self-esteem of one’s own worth, self-confidence, restoration of relationships, sociality, learning to satisfy basic needs without alcohol , emotional maturation in accordance with one’s biological age. Recovery will be precisely a balance within oneself between the sensible part of oneself, which takes care of me, loves me, appreciates me, respects me. The task is to increase this part, and to make the part that is crazy and not sane, which is ready to sacrifice their life for alcohol, smaller. At least so that the sensible part can control the dependent part and not pour it on. Therefore, recovery means serious changes in a person’s personality, as a result of which the alcoholic becomes able to enjoy life without alcohol, realize his needs for safety, love, intimacy, significance. But at the same time, the biological component of alcoholism remains unchanged - the addict will never be able to drink alcohol without harming himself. (From my previous article, “Are Alcoholics Ex-Alcoholics,” you can find out why the biological component of alcoholism remains chronic and incurable) The problem is that the addict has no value in relationships. Therefore, first of all, it is necessary to realize and understand your value in order to understand the value of another who is nearby and then it is possible to realize the need for relationships and love. After all, alcoholism is also about the fact that I am ready to leave this life “in English”, without saying goodbye , for this you just need to not love anyone or devalue anyone. After all, if I love someone, it will be difficult and painful to part with the person. In order to be close, you need to learn to treat yourself differently. In order to learn to live this life as an adult and sober, in order to fill this deficit, you need to turn to the outside world. Most alcoholics think they can do this alone. The man says: “I can handle it myself.” And this is also a sad illusion. It is appropriate to give a metaphor: a person is drowning in a swamp, but does not ask for help from someone who is standing firmly next to him on the shore and can help. An alcoholic needs another alcoholic, one who has already taken this path of sobriety and can share his experience of how to live this sober life without drinking alcohol. And until I go to these people, it’s unlikely that I will be able to get anything. Just reading books will not help, because knowledge does not change us, it changes usexperience. The ideal option is to seek help from Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) groups, therapeutic groups, also go to personal therapy, etc. The Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) community was founded in 1935 in America by two hopeless alcoholics. They recovered themselves and passed on their experience and the experience of the first 100 recovered alcoholics, writing a book in which they outlined the essence of the “12 Steps” recovery program, which has helped and continues to help (including in the post-Soviet space) millions of people gain and maintain sobriety, grow spiritually and generally change the quality of life. The 12 steps program of Alcoholics Anonymous, according to the UNESCO list, is included in the 200 humanitarian achievements of mankind in the 20th century. It is almost impossible to cope with alcoholism alone. The recovery process is a long one, requiring knowledge, desire, perseverance, consistency, and patience. and when we unite, it becomes easier, we take the experience of others who know how to solve this problem. In groups, in the AA community, where there are a lot of winners, you can gain new experience in building relationships that the addict did not have, begin to develop spirituality in yourself and compensate for many aspects of addiction. Therefore, it is very important to understand that if I am an alcoholic, then I can't do this alone. I have to do it myself, but with the help of other people. As long as a person stews in his own juice, there is no chance. This is very important to realize. It is clear that the usual way of life with the help of alcohol is the only possible one for a person, and life without alcohol is frightening and loses its meaning. This is the horror of this problem, that refusal to use is, in fact, a loss of the meaning of life. Therefore, recovery is also the acquisition of new meanings. This is quite a long work. It is unbearable for a person to admit powerlessness; pride (according to the AA program) and narcissistic ambitions (in psychology) do not allow. A person cannot come to terms with the fact that he has lost and that there is something that is stronger than him. To stop drinking, you need to admit your powerlessness over alcohol. Admit your own defeat. This clever idea came to the founder of the AA community, Bill Wilson, in 1935. And he formulated it in the first step of his 12-step AA program: “We admitted our powerlessness over alcohol, admitted that our lives had become unmanageable.” Alcohol gave a lot of things, but then it took away more and from many people the very life. And the best thing you can do is not to resort to it again. Powerlessness is not helplessness. This is an opportunity to preserve my strength, because if I don’t lift a barbell weighing 500 kg, then I will retain my strength, they will all remain with me. It's not easy to comprehend this. The road to recovery is an emotional journey. The paradox is that it is not a doctor who first diagnoses an addicted person. Until the addict diagnoses himself, no narcologist with his stamp of second or third degree alcoholism will not touch the alcoholic. It’s as if he doesn’t hear. No one can cure an alcoholic, they can only create an environment and conditions for him, provide him with knowledge and skills, but the alcoholic himself is responsible for his recovery. Coding treatment is symptomatic, as if treating cough, but not treating pneumonia. This measure is very temporary. But at the same time, addicts themselves and relatives are very keen on this method - the notorious convenient pill. But inside a person does not change. Yes, everyone wants a miracle, without taking responsibility for their recovery and life. Coding is good if a person does not have the strength to sober up, but at the same time engage in recovery, attend groups, and psychotherapy. The more a person endures and does not drink, the more and worse the breakdown after coding. Most people try to recover for the sake of someone, children, etc. Shaky motivation, lack of own desires and interests. The motivation seems serious, but it happens that the goal disappears, for example, the wife leaves. It is a trap. And it is important to understand why I need sobriety myself. It is advisable to recover only for!