From the author: You can send your options for life scenarios in the comments to the article. There is such a non-intrusive thing - a life scenario. It sits in the head, very far away, but at the same time it determines a lot. I suggest you come into contact with it, identify it, get to know it, and if necessary, change it. A life script is a life plan that exists in our subconscious, which is formed in early childhood and gradually unfolds over many years, often against our will. This is the algorithm according to which we build our lives and relationships with other people and ourselves. Where does this plan come from?1. We ourselves learn it based on parental experience (voluntarily). I feel sorry for the daughter of a sweet, kind alcoholic father who is suppressed by her mother. The girl grows up and tries in every possible way to love and lift up and pull out of all possible situations any person - an alcoholic (or a drug addict or gambling addict with similar problems)2. Parents or other people important to the child broadcast, press, instill the script (forcibly). Parents broadcast their unfulfilled dreams and desires to the child. The mother married for love and suffered all her life with her loser husband, so the daughter must find herself a rich husband. The activator is the mother. A “call” from parents to a child with a demand to reproduce their life path, doing everything as they do. Thus, parents affirm their life values, prove to themselves the correctness of their own choice, and the child who agrees with such a scenario becomes a hostage to their plan. Key phrases that are repeatedly driven into the head are “you must be the best”, “big boys don’t cry”, “never dare to say that”, “stop jumping”, “don’t be smart”. Some messages are conveyed non-verbally (facial expressions, gestures, intonation), but they are also of great importance.3. Psychological trauma in childhood or adolescence. It becomes a point of attraction for building a certain destiny. By trauma, I mean not only truly dramatic events, but also phrases or moments of life, simple in content, but which had a very strong impression on the child. From a situation in which the child was a victim (aggressive behavior of parents, their indifferent attitude, aggression from peers, sexual violence) an adult grows up - playing the opposite role (replacing the traumatic role)4. We borrow from fairy tales (epics, stories, books, etc.) In the fairy tale, the prince saves his beloved from the clutches of the dragon, they are happy, the dragon is killed. Let's take it to reality - a girl suffers from a past relationship, she is being pursued by her ex (to whom she herself gives hope). The fight with the new young man determines whose trophy. At the end of the story, the girl is in the arms of a noble knight, hugs him in a hospital bed, and rewards him for his victory with a kiss. She is saved, the dragon is defeated, and disappears in an unknown direction. There are so many fairy tales, so many scenarios to choose from, with a happy ending or not.5. The positive or negative script of another is borrowed (cases from real life, and fictional stories of cinema, theater). With an important note - the fact that the script worked positively for one person does not mean that it will work for you. What led to tragedy in one story may end in happiness under slightly different circumstances. A simple example, a girl sees that a girl who has become a model is prosperous, surrounded by beautiful things, interiors, wealthy people, travels around the world and has other benefits. She transfers the scenario to her life and is ready to do anything to become a model in order to transfer the rest of the picture to her life. 6. There may be variations in the acquisition of a script not described here, since the process of its construction is creative and original, like life itself. How to identify a scenario in your life? Option No. 1. Take a pencil and paper and write down the answers to the following questions. Work quickly and intuitively, writing down the first answer that comes to mind. What is the title of your script? What kind of script is it? Cheerful or sad? Victorious ortragic? Interesting or boring? Describe the last scene. How does your script end? Save your answers so you can return to them again when you get more information. Option #2: Think about your script. Perhaps relaxing music, incense sticks or candles will help you immerse yourself. Imagine some images and feel the feelings associated with them. It is possible to work in pairs or in a group. Use paints and paper, you can make a picture, start with light strokes, and give your hands freedom. Tell yourself, or your partner, what kind of picture is in front of you, what is happening there and with whom? Who is the main character, what is he like? The image can be metaphorical or very specific. Is the main character comfortable in this picture, what does he feel, does he like this story that is happening to him? What does he want to change? Imagine yourself full of the power to change the picture if you don't like it. Draw another one and think about what happens in it? What changed? How does the hero feel now? This exercise can be done deliberately and not in one day. Maybe not even in one month. You can discuss your work with a psychologist and an art therapist. Option No. 3. Write a story, a fairy tale about yourself. What is it like, who is the main character in it? Are you yourself or an object, a creature? How is it similar to you? What qualities does he have? Is he comfortable in this story? What is her ending? Are you satisfied with this story, what feelings do you feel towards the main character at the end? What do you want to change? Then change, take action. But be careful, take your time, because you are dealing with your script. Sometimes it is not immediately clear where negative elements come from and it is not easy to remove them. And sometimes it is impossible if the person himself is comfortable in an unfavorable scenario. Indeed, there are people who are comfortable even in their unfavorable scenarios, benefiting from them in their own way. And this is their personal choice. For example, a person who is “unlucky” and who is “hindered” will always find sympathy from those around him. A wife who is beaten and endures it gathers tons of sincere sympathy from those around her. She is a victim, and her husband is a scoundrel, an aggressor. Children are also victims, but for their sake, all this continues with full dedication. Transformation: Questions from “Option No. 1” will help you in analyzing the work. If you decide to change the script, send a request within yourself for change, what is your inner world telling you? Is he supportive or is he not ready yet, what’s stopping him? What did you choose: to be defeated or to be victorious? You, a therapist, and someone significant can create a scripted program, with the same power of influence as the parental figure who created the program. For example, a coach, telling a timid athlete: “You can do it!” But if a person is ready for transformation, even the words of a random fellow traveler can influence him. It is important to learn to hear yourself. Pay attention to what and how you repeat to your child, or to yourself. In the script, the engines are messages received from parents and other important people. Explore them. Draw your scenario matrix. On a piece of paper, leave space for the name of the scenario you are currently in and its description. Then write a list of orders (messages) given to you by your parents. Study them for adequacy and compliance with your reality in which you live “here and now.” Naturally, a lot of good messages were conveyed to you, and perhaps researching the main ones will also complement your picture. For each we do the following analysis: Order, message (its content). Who did it come from (father, mother)? In what form and under what circumstances did this happen? What was in your feelings, thoughts, body, and what conclusions did you draw yourself (we consider each parameter in the aspect of time “then and now”)? In the next column, you can enter this message without changes, or you can change it as you now think is correct. If you cannot identify the messages, or feel that you are missing something important, leave the space free for now..