From the author: Not serious about serious things:) Lesson 1 A husband gets into the shower while his wife has just finished washing. The doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs to open it. Neighbor Bob is on the doorstep. Just seeing her, Bob says: “I’ll give you $800 if you take off the towel.” After thinking for a couple of seconds, the woman does so and stands naked in front of Bob. Bob gives her $800 and leaves. The wife puts the towel back on and returns to the bathroom. "Who was that?" - asks the husband. “Bob, neighbor,” the wife replies. “Great,” says the husband, “he didn’t say anything about the $800 he owes me?” Moral of the story: share information about loans issued with shareholders, otherwise you may find yourself in an unpleasant situation. Lesson 2 A priest offers a nun a ride. Once in the car, she crosses her legs so that her thigh is exposed. The priest barely manages to avoid an accident. Having straightened the car, he stealthily places his hand on her leg. The nun says: “Father, do you remember Psalm 129?” The priest removes his hand. But, changing gear, he again puts his hand on her leg. The nun repeats: “Father, do you remember Psalm 129?” The priest apologizes: “Forgive me, sister, but the flesh is weak.” Having reached the monastery, the nun sighs heavily and leaves. Arriving at the church, the priest finds Psalm 129. It says: “Go further and seek, higher you will find happiness.” Moral of the story: if you don’t know your job well, many opportunities for development will pass right in front of your nose. Lesson 3 A sales representative, a secretary and a manager go to lunch and find an antique lamp. They rub it and Jin emerges from it. He says: “I will fulfill one wish of each of you.” “I am the first, I am the first!” says the secretary. “I want to be in the Bahamas now, on a boat, and not think about anything.” Pshh! She disappears. “Now me, now me,” says the sales representative. “I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach, with a massage, an endless supply of piña coladas and the love of my life.” Pshh! He disappears. “Now it’s your turn,” Gene tells the manager. “I want those two back to the office after lunch.” Moral of the story: always let your boss speak first. Lesson 4 The eagle was sitting in a tree, resting and doing nothing. The little rabbit saw the eagle and asked: “Can I also sit like you and do nothing?” “Of course, why not,” he answered. The rabbit sat down under a tree and began to rest. Suddenly a fox appeared, grabbed the rabbit and ate it. Moral of the story: in order to sit and do nothing, you must sit very, very high. Lesson 5 The turkey was talking to the bull. “I dream of climbing to the top of the tree,” she sighed, “but I have so little strength.” “Why don’t you peck at my droppings? the bull answered, “it contains a lot of nutrients.” The turkey pecked at a pile of droppings, and this actually gave her enough strength to climb onto the lower branch of the tree. The next day, after eating more, she reached the second branch. Finally, on the fourth day, the turkey sat proudly on top of the tree. There, a farmer spotted her and shot her down with a shotgun. Moral of the story: Manipulating shit may get you to the top, but it won't keep you there. Lesson 6 A little bird flew south to spend the winter. It was so cold that she froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While she was lying there, a cow walked by and pooped on her. Lying in the cow dung, the bird suddenly realized how warm she was. Cow shit brought her back to life! The bird suddenly felt so good that she began to sing to express her joy. A cat running past heard the singing and decided to figure out what was going on. Following the source of the sound, the cat found the bird, dug it up and ate it. Moral of the story: 1). not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.2). not everyone who gets you out of your shit is your friend.3). when you're deep in shit, you better keep your mouth shut.