“I have low self-esteem!” - I hear this phrase very often in consultations. And of course, the logical question is “How to increase self-esteem?” Let’s deal with this topic once and for all. In 99% of cases, everything is in order with your self-esteem. You know your strengths and abilities, recognize your achievements and results, think about ambitious goals, believing in the possibility of achieving them. But! You often slip into self-flagellation. It is self-flagellation that you usually call low self-esteem. “I blame and scold myself” - you say, “that means I have low self-esteem.” In fact, this only means one thing, that your strategy is self-criticism. Just a strategy, not a true attitude towards oneself, but a habitual way of reacting to a stressful situation. When we deal with strategy, it is important to determine where it comes from? What was its value? Because any way of responding to stress is initially adaptive, it is the most effective in existing conditions, and when conditions change, it is no longer suitable and becomes a problem. Why are you doing this? It often turns out that self-criticism is an indirect defense against external aggression. I’d rather scold myself than face criticism from the outside, it seems safer. Safer? Better? In fact, we turn out to be our own worst judge. What to do? Learn to be your own lawyer, learn to tell your criticism “stop, no, I don’t believe you!” A question that causes a lot of controversy: ✅ What happens if you completely stop criticizing yourself? Many are afraid to relax too much and lose their “human appearance”.✅ How appropriate is self-justification? Always and everywhere or are there boundaries?⬇️What do you think? Thank you for your attention to the topic! If you found the article interesting and useful, put “like” and subscribe to my blog on instagram* -> a.vyugaYou can also find other people’s answers on my Instagram page* at this link: I’m waiting for you both there and here to discuss this topic and various others!* Instagram is owned by Meta, which is recognized as an extremist organization in Russia.