It is known that sexual need is one of the basic human needs. Currently, there is a current definition of the term “sexual health”, given by WHO experts back in the seventies, it reads as follows: Sexual health is an integral part of general health, a complex of somatic, emotional, social and intellectual aspects of existence that positively enrich the personality and increase sociability man and his ability to love. In this article we will analyze what needs, in addition to the above, can be satisfied and how this is reflected in everyday life and directly in romantic relationships. Sex as an expression of other feelings. Sex quite often reflects the dynamics of the relationship as a whole. When a partner is attentive, hears the needs of the other, sensitive and tactful - he will be the same in sex. Sometimes it happens that one of the partners transfers his unexpressed feelings, resentments or anger “to bed”. Partners can “punish” each other with a lack of sex, low involvement in the process, as well as a sharp narrowing of the forms of sexual release used. Metaphorically - if you don’t want to hear or hear your partner in something fundamentally important for him, he may “not want” you on a different level. Of course, in order to avoid such forms of punishing each other, you should resort to dialogue as often as possible. Speaking out your feelings and emotions will improve the situation many times over. Remember, people cannot read your thoughts, even those closest to you. Sex as a way to avoid contact. It sounds very paradoxical, but it also happens. Sometimes, due to a negative experience of interaction with a significant adult in childhood, a person develops the belief that the seemingly most important and close person may turn out to be cold, hostile and overly directive. This is how a certain type of attachment is formed - avoidant, it is characterized by special caution in relationships with a partner. For such people, emotional contact = threat. Indeed, it is difficult to believe that it can be safe in a relationship when you do not have such experience. In such circumstances, sex becomes an imitation of intimacy because it provides an opportunity to feel connected to a person while avoiding the threat of interpersonal “warm” contact. So, for some partners it is much easier to move into a “horizontal position” than to have a heart-to-heart talk or spend time in each other’s arms. Sex as a way to survive shock. We have come to a very interesting psychological defense, which is activated in response to a shock experienced (a traumatic event) and consists of giving the incident an erotic coloring in order to make the experience more or less positive. It's called sexualization. Quite often, clients who practice, say, BDSM practices (inflicting pain or finding ways to experience pain in order to enhance feelings from sexual release) talk about episodes of particularly sophisticated beating by parents or guardians in childhood. The situations are similar with strangulation, spanking or hair pulling during sexual contact. Let’s not go deeper, a person can become fixated on various elements of a traumatic event; eroticization of the experience gained will serve as a way to discharge overwhelming excitement. It should be understood that sexualization does not help to process traumas; rather, it works as a painkiller that wears off over time. Sex as auto-aggression. Auto-aggression is destructive behavior directed at oneself. This phenomenon is also undoubtedly a defense in response to a traumatic event. In this case, a person experiences a very strong, but for certain reasons, unconscious feeling (anger, aggression, anger), which... He cannot even connect with his offender, which is why he begins to destroy himself instead of the other. This phenomenon can manifest itself in different