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If you have ever been in a situation on the verge of life and death, then you know that the first thing you thought about in those split seconds: “Is this really all?! Why did this happen to me?” If fate protected you from such an experience, then you probably lost people close to you. Remember what you were thinking then. “Why did God (fate) take my loved one away from me? Why him? In both cases, the person adds: “Why do I need this?” We ask about this not only when we lose loved ones. In any difficult, depressing life situation, most people ask this question. First, we turn to God, to some higher authorities. It’s as if we were waiting for the sky to open up and our question to be answered for sure. Then, having not received an answer, we begin to look for it ourselves. And we find quickly and a lot: for being indifferent, for not appreciating, for cheating, for beating, for speaking, for not speaking, etc. Well, whoever seeks will always find! Most likely you will find the reason. But does this knowledge bring you relief? In addition, with such answers, a persistent feeling of guilt appears in you for everything you have done. And under the weight of such thoughts, you move further and further away from the rapidly flowing minutes of the life that you have directly at this moment. We don’t want to accept anything with a “-” sign, nothing that knocks us out of our usual life rut, no losses. We just don’t want to see and accept that this is inevitable in existence. And this rejection prevents us from perceiving our life holistically, as it is. It’s as if where everything is good, I exist, but when there is grief, trouble, pain, it shouldn’t be like that, and I shouldn’t be in this misfortune. But life persistently repeats that this too exists, and it is inevitable, inevitable. And the person continues to struggle and look for answers to the questions: “Why?”, “Why me?”. But is it possible to get answers to these questions? Those who find the answer do not search for the reasons. They say that this is the path of courage, acceptance, or rather, the courage to accept one’s being as it is. By default, truly and deeply religious people accept their existence as a whole. Those who strive for acceptance are those who, trying to establish contact with themselves, and as a result, with the world, are looking for other ways to live their lives. It would seem that Bergman’s seemingly prosperous heroine, leading an impeccable life, says in “Scenes from a Married Life”: “The absence of problems is the most serious problem. It’s scary to realize that life, like ours, is fraught with dangerous sides.” Already here she had a premonition of another side of life. And when the illusion of stable well-being is dispelled, she accepts these “dangerous sides” of life: “And I will live in reality as it is. There is something in this world that I love most. And that's life." © Chuikina Dilyara

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