The article is taken from my personal website. Envy is an emotion familiar to everyone. Usually it hardly bothers you and is easily pushed aside during everyday worries. But sometimes envy is experienced hard, for a long time - it happens that for years the image of the person who stirred it up does not let go. In society, envy has been openly condemned since ancient times. Already in the ten commandments of Moses it is said: “You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, and you shall not covet your neighbor’s house, nor his field, nor his servant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that your neighbor has” (Deut. 5). :6-21). On the other hand, throughout the history of mankind, envy accompanies any manifestation of civilization: from open struggle for the best fields and lands, leading to territorial wars of any scale, to various intrigues - in politics, commerce, art, personal relationships - carried out in secret and leading to to eliminate the object of envy. In the modern world, envy is also the engine of the consumer market, the basis of advertising that stimulates consumer interest in any area of ​​life: everything in their commercial is better than mine, which means I need the same! And if envy is so widespread, it permeates everything around, it will not be possible to isolate yourself from it - no matter how hard a person tries to follow biblical or other universal values. And this also means that everyone really needs such an emotional experience for something. It does some important work for the soul, but is often misunderstood - it is denied, repressed, condemned, or directly acted out in envious attacks... That is why the majority fail to perceive positively, much less constructively, apply the emerging envy. And this is possible! Let's try to understand the nature of envy, and this will give us not only a tool for eliminating unpleasant feelings towards our neighbor, but also a chance to change ourselves - to become a creatively realized person, satisfied with our life and enjoying communication with other people. Envy arises then when someone else sees something better - more beautiful, more valuable, more useful, more significant - than himself. And it can be anything: a thing, work, home, money, appearance features, friends, love relationships and even character traits... Envy is especially acute in close relationships with friends of the same sex, since friends or girlfriends have more in common, for example, common needs than between people of the opposite sex. And envy is based precisely on this - on the ability to satisfy one’s needs. Some people do it better, some not very well, and some not at all. An item, a partner, or a feature of a friend’s appearance that allows her to get something that you yourself urgently need, knocks you out of balance and puts you in a state of “I want it too!” This “too” will help you find the resource sealed in the negative side of envy. As soon as you feel a pang of envy, you find yourself in contact with your need, which you had completely ignored before. But you see this need in OTHER, and not in YOURSELF. And not only a need, but also an OPPORTUNITY, a WAY to satisfy it. For example, a friend bought a beautiful dress that effectively emphasized the advantages of her figure and perfectly hid her flaws. The envy that appears when showing off a dress does not mean at all how good your friend is and how plain you are. It’s your taste that has suddenly woken up and is knocking on your mind: “Hey, look - you’re not using me at all! And I could present you in a more favorable light than you look now... Come on, act! Study your appearance features, choose a style, colors, accessories - I’m here just for you, I’m your absolutely individual style!” If you hear this voice sounding against the background of envy, then you won’t have to plot, denigrating the ill-fated dress in the eyes of your friends. On the contrary, it will give you the determination to take care of your wardrobe, but not to spite anyone, but only for yourself: you yourself, and not your friend, become the center of your world, around.