Find it cheaperNatalya Kozhina, AiF.ru: Svetlana, is it necessary to explain to a child what money is? Personally, I don’t remember such conversations in childhood, everything somehow happened by itself. Svetlana Merkulova: In general, children in this world always learn something. They also need to be taught about relationships with money. This is the task of parents. It is important that the child knows about this side of life as early as possible, almost from birth. We teach the younger generation good manners, rules of behavior in society and safety rules. This is how we take care of children. Learning how to interact with money is equally important. This is something that will be very useful for your child in adulthood. — You say that you need to prepare a child from birth. What does this mean? - Children learn first of all when they simply see how we behave and what we do. They watch their parents. The child goes with us to the grocery store - we need to show him that you don’t just take goods from the shelves, but you pay money for them. It will be great if it is real money, and not a plastic card, which can be considered by a child as a magic card that has unlimited credit. Cash is specific. They tend to end, and this is very clear and useful. Discuss the price of the product. It is important to talk about money calmly and to the point. It is necessary to convey to the child the understanding that money has its value, and if it is spent, it disappears. They need to be earned. In addition, in older preschool age children really love to play in the store. In this way, you can perfectly teach your son or daughter about commodity-money relations. The beauty is that, in essence, children tell us what they need. It is important to just be attentive to their games, words and requests. - How to explain to a child what “expensive” and “cheap” are? - Of course, it is difficult to explain such things to a very young child of 2.5–3 years old, he does not yet have the skill of comparison . But a six or seven year old who can count is quite capable of understanding the difference. You can always set up a game in the store called “Find Cheaper”. Ask your child to find a product at a more affordable price. This hunting game perfectly develops skills that will be useful in the future. - Don’t you think that in this way we will simply raise a miser who will count every penny and spend his whole life looking for something cheaper? - The culture of handling money is transmitted from the family system . When parents constantly live in austerity mode, the child copies this behavior model. If you are a curmudgeon, it is foolish to be afraid that you will grow up to be the same curmudgeon. As for the game, I don’t think that it will have any strong influence on the child, and he will become hyper-economical. Rather, you will simply give your child basic skills in handling money. Speak out loud - Another difficult question that worries almost any child, why, for example, are the Petrovs richer than his family? - You can easily explain that there are always people who receive a large salary (even greater than that of the Petrovs). But this is not because you personally are not successful, but because you work where they pay less. But at the same time, you like your work. You do it because it’s something you love and you get paid for it. If a child decides that he likes the way the Petrovs live, this can become an incentive to grow and develop. This is precisely the formation of goals. — Regarding goals. Once I watched a story about first-graders; a journalist interviewed them about their future profession. Most of the answers were from the category: I want to become a cosmetologist to earn a lot, I want to work in a bank because they pay a lot, etc. Where does such an attitude come from from an early age, should it somehow bother parents?— Similar aspirations are dictated by our consumer society and largely by family. Let's imagine, my mother goes to a cosmetologist, pays a lot of money for the procedures, and then comes home and talks about how much they earnthese specialists. Children hear everything and instantly draw their own conclusions. For this reason, you should always think about what you are saying out loud in front of your own children! A cosmetologist is a good profession, but it is not good because you can earn money there. As for focusing on material values, this is a clash of interests of society and family values. We are all participating in the consumer race, just with different intensity. If it is customary in your family to worship money, then the child will follow this course. And if the family still has other values, then material wealth will not come to the fore. — What words should you choose to explain to a child that money is not easy to come by? — This is a very relevant topic, even if we are talking about a wealthy family where parents and children are accustomed to actively spending. Of course, the child must understand that any money is earned by parental labor, which means it has value. If you spend them, your wallet will not be filled with new banknotes on its own. Here, again, the game will help. Think through the chain from the moment you earn toy money to the moment you spend it. What do you need to do to get paid? How to distribute money so that you have enough? Now there are many games in which the process of earning and spending is well reflected. For example, “Monopoly” or some computer games where the hero receives a salary and with the help of it acquires the necessary things. In addition, talk through some points. For example, you went to buy tights, explain why you are taking this particular product and not another: “These tights cost so much, I like them because...” This way you also add a comparative analysis. Agree that one way or another we all spend it within ourselves, but in this case it needs to be done out loud so that the child understands what you are doing and why. On a typewriter - Is it useful for a child to save for something? - Yes! It's great to buy a piggy bank for your child, because each of us has a certain dream, so why not raise money for it? This is a good reason to teach your child how to handle rubles and kopecks. You can even buy two piggy banks at once: one contains funds for a dream, the other contains what you can spend as soon as you want - on candy, buns, balls. The existence of piggy banks is a training in the process of holding. You know, there are people who, in principle, do not know how to handle money; they spend it in a few seconds, as soon as it appears in their hands. These are the adults who, while still children, did not learn to save. But in vain!—Who can give money to a child, on what basis? Let's say, only on birthdays or on some holidays? And most importantly, how to avoid situations when a child begins to wait, for example, not for his grandparents, but for what they will bring or give? - Usually, such a imbalance is observed in families where a single child grows up, whom everyone has been waiting for for a very long time, and when he finally appeared, they began to shower him with everything they could. This is definitely an expression of love that people cannot control. Alas, in this way they simply spoil the child. Gradually, the value of the fact that grandparents came to visit, with whom it is fun and cool, moves away, money, a thing, a toy come to the fore. The child already greets you from the threshold with the phrase: “What did you bring?” The family develops commodity-money relations. In fact, everything is simple: you don’t have to shovel money every time you come, use some reasons for this. - Is a birthday a good reason? - No! After all, it’s a holiday, the kids are expecting some kind of magic. Yes, adults may think that the best gift is money. A child (if you haven’t spoiled him yet) thinks in completely different categories. Better find out what he wants and bring exactly this gift. February 23, March 8, name days are quite suitable for giving money. - How much money can you give? - Not much, it should be a symbolic amount. You can give it to the child personally or put it in a piggy bank. - Is it possible to reward a child for something with money? - Of course, teachfor a child, earning money is useful. In this case, it would be great to find something in the family that everyone doesn’t like. For example, washing dishes, and the one who is still ready to wash them receives 10 rubles. It doesn’t matter who does it - mom, dad or child. This way you teach your child to earn money. Encouraging study with money is not a good idea. Going to school is natural, no one gets paid for it. - If we talk about pocket expenses, at what age should a child have this money? - Six to seven years old, when a child starts going to school. At the same time, you do not need to control how your child spends the issued amount. Gradually, the student will learn to manage it, count change, save money, etc. Around the age of 12, you can give money not every day, but once every three to four days, so that the child can gradually control his expenses for three days. For high school students - once a week, once every 2 weeks. This is how children learn to handle their capital. This prepares a person for a future in which most people receive a salary once a month. - What expenses should be taken into account to understand the amount of pocket money? - Food, travel. Look at how your child’s day is structured and what he needs. If you give the amount more, then most likely he will spend it on all sorts of nonsense. Mom is on the hook - Svetlana, where children come from who like to throw tantrums in the store, demanding that their parents buy a toy, candy, a dress, etc. ?—They are created by parents, children are our product. If mom and dad recklessly respond to any “I want” every time, get ready for the fact that they will gradually demand more from you. By your actions you seduce the child, as if telling him: “I can buy you everything, please take it.” To prevent such things from happening, it is still better to set certain rules: once a month (choose your period), parents buy some beautiful dress or the right toy. The child will get used to this and stop demanding. — What do you suggest doing when a child starts to get hysterical over a toy right in the store, not paying attention to him? — You need to act depending on the age and, let’s say, the degree of neglect of the case. Tantrums in the store don't just happen. If a small child was naughty, they calmed him down by giving him what he demanded; it would be harder in the future. The problem needs to be solved with the baby so that he does not develop the “cry-and-get” habit. But if a mother is anxious and quickly tries to give her child anything so that he doesn’t scream, she’s on his hook! - Let’s take the conscious age of the child and the average family. A daughter asks her mother to buy her a Louis Vuitton bag or any other expensive item, what should she do?—There is a piggy bank for any large-scale purchase. Please, let him save for the bag of his dreams. - I am afraid that in the average family she will save until old age. - It is okay if a person is faced with a situation in which he will not save up for an expensive bag. Not everything is possible to get in this world. Sooner or later, many of us are faced with certain restrictions. Those children who learned to cope with them at a young age calmly accept them as adults. Yes, there are things that are not available to everyone! Sometimes a child must face the word “no.” Nothing catastrophic will happen. Parents are not gods. They should not spend five salaries just because their daughter wanted a bag. - How to teach a child to spend money correctly when he comes to the store? - Only with the help of experiments, and real ones. For example, a child comes to the store with a thousand rubles saved up. He wants ice cream, candy, a toy, a bicycle. Count with him: this costs 300 rubles, this costs 500 rubles, and this costs 600 rubles. Do you think we fit into your thousand or not? The child will count and say: “No, we don’t fit.” Then invite him to choose something from his “I want”. Just don’t need to report money. — And if he, without asking you, starts spending money on.