"Do you accept me? With all my fears, despair, shame, guilt, anger? Will you be with me in this? Do you believe me? Are you okay that I am like this here and now ? Do I really have the right to be like this?” “I can’t tell anyone about this... they will judge me, they will turn away from me.” “I share with my loved ones, and they try to console me / wave their hand / condemn / laugh” / your option... What is acceptance for you? It is probably different for everyone... The feeling that there is a person next to you who treats you without judgment, evaluation, expectations, stereotypes... A person to whom you are important... A person who believes in your ability to cope the way you want I would like... A person who walks next to you at the same pace and direction as you. Is the ability of acceptance for a therapist a property that can be developed? If so, how? What can interfere? What can help? It’s easy to accept a person who seems to be “understandable” or “similar to you in many ways,” or “just nice”... And such acceptance seems to not depend on you at all and happens automatically in 0.0006 seconds... What if it didn't happen? What if a person who is perfect in every sense comes for help? Well, what problems could he possibly have?! If only I were in his place! Hello, my envy and egocentrism. Or with some minor problem... Well, is this a problem? This is funny) Hello, my pride. And if a person comes with grief and hopelessness... and you think “this is really impossible to bear”? Or a person does not believe that there is a way out of his situation at all... And you also stop believing... Hello, my disbelief and despair. And if a person is aggressive towards the whole world, including you? Or in distrust... Hello, my fear. What if a strong and intelligent man with extensive life experience came to me for help? Well, he’s an adult, responsible man... can’t he really handle it himself? Hello, my gender stereotypes. And if you are just too lazy to listen, feel, share, reflect?... hello fatigue... you are “not in the resource”.. Hello, my powerlessness. So many more of these “what ifs” that interfere with unconditional positive acceptance. What to do with all this? First, accept it in yourself as YOUR attitude, state, feeling, etc. After all, only then can you do something about it... And remember that the person turned to you for help. This means that he, the one who seems ideal to you, has problems that torment him... Feel his pain. Yes, what seems funny and petty to you, for another may be complex and difficult to overcome... Believe in his powerlessness - after all, he interferes with him. Those who came in despair and disbelief still came for help - and in this there is a bit of faith that there is a way out, that this can be survived... And it only seems to you that there is no way out. And someone else will not lose faith. A man who is angry with the whole world has come to you in the hope of help... Hear this cry of pain and help behind your fear and discomfort. Yes, a man who seems strong and with everything in life coping, but cannot cope with this yet... See behind your stereotypes in him just a person, with his weaknesses. "Not in the resource"... If this is your powerlessness, then you can already do something about it. With sincere respect, be next to someone so different from you, with problems that you have never encountered in your life... Allow someone else to be different, while remaining yourself. There is such a lack of acceptance in our world... But I believe that it can be different.