Dysfunctional (destructive) family is a family in which there is: - violence, abuse - and not only physical violence, also emotional, psychological violence, humiliation, insults, manipulation, lack of support. - unpredictability and feeling of fear - there is no sense of security, parents either love or aggression. - “conditional love” - when they love only when the child meets the requirements and performs the actions that are expected of him. For non-compliance, the child is punished or rejected. Not good enough for love. - no boundaries - emotions are devalued, personal things are taken without asking, no right to vote. - codependency - growing up, children transfer the behavior model from their parents' family into adulthood. - inflated demands and expectations, perfectionism. - all types dependencies. - lack of dialogue, constant conflicts, quarrels. - shifting roles in the family - for example, a child becomes an adult for his infantile parents. In such a family there is little attention. The father's attention, for example, is directed to alcohol, and the mother's attention is all on her husband, because... it is he who is the source of her peace. The condition of a woman here depends on the condition of a man. As a result, there is little attention and love in such a family. When children appear in this family, in order to receive parental attention, one has to choose a strategy/role. A child in such a family cannot become himself; he can only be what the family system allows him to be. In such a family, the child quickly understands that you can’t just get attention, you need to earn it, get it. And he begins to look for what he will be seen in (in what role), how he will be noticed. And there are four such roles. Moreover, the child can change these roles over time. In the following posts I will describe each in more detail and tell you how therapy will help. What to do if you grew up in a dysfunctional family? First, realize, acknowledge and accept this fact. Recognize your right to express your emotions and feelings, the right to pain, anger, resentment. Secondly, exercise your right to help, because many have been deprived of this right. Seek help from a specialist. Recruitment is underway for the educational and therapeutic group of Gestalt therapy, module 1 from the International Gestalt Academy, full-time in Tyumen. Start of the group October 20, 2023 To sign up for the group, contact +79829890003 Christina