From the author: newspaper "Golden Staircase" No. 24 (105) December 22, 2010 Why are you lying? We all lie sometimes or often. Sometimes we lie to “save ourselves,” sometimes to “protect someone else.” Is there a need for deception? Maybe you can do without it? If so, how? I wonder where the lie came from? When a child is still small, he often embellishes his stories, fantasizes, making up different stories, while an adult reacts to this with caution, fearing that the child is learning to lie. But lies and fantasy are two different things. By fantasizing, we come up with a parallel reality, immersing ourselves in it completely, and move there as if it were the only one that exists. For us (at this time) the world in which we lived before ceases to exist, since we already live in this new, beautiful, understandable and abundant world, where everything around is familiar, everything is the way we want. If we “need » lie, then we also create a parallel reality. Without plunging into it, we look as if from the outside, continuing our deception, and always remember what is true and what is a lie. This is why deception can be seen, heard and detected. There are specially trained people for just these purposes, they are called verifiers, which means catchers of lies. They don’t need a polygraph (“lie detector”), they have something that allows them to accurately and instantly see a lie. I'm talking about their ability to observe and interpret what they see. Someone who is insincere cannot be congruent. Watching a person lie, sometimes it is very easy to “read” what he is actually saying, how his words do not correspond to the reality that we see in front of us, namely: facial expressions, gestures and posture. This happens because lying is a conscious phenomenon. Having come up with something, we begin to talk about it, but our unconscious (manifesting at the bodily level) resists, not allowing us to be cunning. This is manifested in the way our body “speaks.” For example, when speaking in an affirmative and confident voice, a person’s shoulders rise hesitantly and hesitantly, or the hand quickly moves to the face to scratch the nose, while simultaneously creating obstacles to those words that are not true. These are the most obvious examples of incongruent behavior (not matching what a person says with what he does). It turns out that if we know that what we say is a lie, then the person to whom we lie may also find out about this by exposing us! And in order for the deception not to be noticed and caught, it is necessary for the liar himself to believe in it, which is what experienced swindlers use. At this moment, the lie ceases to be a lie, becoming “truth”, namely fantasy. The person becomes congruent again, and his words and his body become united in conveying the only “truth.” Is it necessary to expose a liar? Probably, if this concerns a violation of the law or life safety, then yes, but if this concerns other cases, then one may ask the question “why?” or “for what?” It may be enough that a person who has entered into communication with a possibly insincere interlocutor can determine at what point he receives unreliable information and respond to it by taking this fact into account.