The children's theme in my publications is closely related not only to psychosomatic problems. On the main cover you can place a portrait of a happy family, in which children and parents are free to express their emotions, everyone knows how to negotiate and follows several family rules, which can be differently and kindly called not “rules”, but “traditions”. In the most popular area of ​​consulting, I am a child and family psychologist. Families in which children have already grown up and have gone through all acute and subacute crisis moments recommend me to their friends and they, in turn, share my contacts. Recently I saw kind words about myself from one deeply respected dad in a city group of thousands of parents. It was a pleasure. I came to one of these families with a request from my mother. There were no free slots in my busy schedule, but the woman’s sincere tears showed me how serious the problem was. And how often this happens in children’s requests, the problem was not with the boy, but with the mother. Larisa was both anxious and strong-willed. The profession of a military man was obligatory. I plunged into the atmosphere of family “mobilization”. After just a minute of conversation, I sucked in my stomach and straightened my back. The boy was destined for the Suvorov School, but he resisted as best he could. F marks on a test, conflicts with the teacher, withdrawal into oneself and frequent manifestations of psychosomatic coughs and colds. The boy really liked the career of a proud military man, heir to a family dynasty, but there were huge deficits in the attention of the same mother, who saw the child, as a branch of her own career line . She only learned from me how he lives, how he talentedly draws in anime style, how he skillfully assembles electrical circuits from old toy parts. Mom saw an officer in the little boy, carrying projections from her fantasy and using toxic parental messages: “grow up faster, don’t be small,” “don’t feel anything of your own, I will feel for you.” After all, only after being saturated with the acceptance and warmth of loved ones who love you, a child may want to leave home at age 11. To truly become an adult and pursue a career as a courageous military man. Clear accents in the violation of parent-child relationships opened my mother’s eyes to the problem. She took a breath, replaced the screams and tears with constructive dialogue. Progress was like a breakthrough. Good grades, good health and new victories at karate school. But I just had to learn not to “order”, but to ask. This is the great art of healthy family communication. psychologist, psychosomatologist Yakovenko GalinaViber, WhatsApp, Telegram 89271287007