I often come across patients with a deep lack of self-confidence and a compensatory desire to be pleasant and useful to everyone, without revealing their true essence. They have the belief that they, as they are, are real, are bad, uninteresting, unworthy and will be rejected. To compensate for your “inferiority”, you need to try your best to be useful, take into account all the interests of everyone and not reflect... It is interesting that very, very often such people are actually worthy - highly moral, talented, emotionally sensitive. I like them. And, needless to say, the compensatory strategy also works - they try to be pleasant, and it works. In a therapeutic relationship, they risk opening up slightly. I'm not just a person, I'm a psychotherapist. They open up in their fears and anxieties, in their sense of insignificance... In their past grievances and rejections, in difficult childhood stories... And I have a keen sense of closeness in the moment. This openness seems like a priceless gift. And I really want to tell them that they are good, worthy... And it’s true that in therapeutic relationships with such clients a certain precedent is created for self-disclosure when they are not rejected. And here there is a special risk of developing hyper-attachment to the therapist. Yes, and the therapist is tempted to tie the client to himself and treat him in a special way... It’s nice to be useful, it’s nice to be loved. And here, it seems to me, it’s very, very important to notice this and not lead the patient into temptation - with some special privileges, delay sessions, special care. This is what the patients really want, and the therapist is not against it... But I am sure that in the case of such clients, careful adherence to boundaries and constant work to turn the patient towards others is especially important. To people in their “real life”. It is necessary to encourage self-disclosure to others and combat social avoidance. The delicate work is to support enough, but not to tie tightly, and not to traumatize. I am not sure that the socially desirable behavior of these patients is so harmful. Yes, they are unlikely to refuse it, except perhaps to question it a little in those places where they are clearly acting to their detriment. It is more important that they learn to accept their authentic selves and begin to take risks to connect emotionally with others. If you have difficulties in relationships with people, if it is difficult for you to accept yourself, I offer careful psychotherapeutic work maintaining a balance of support and boundaries. Please contact by phone (Whatsapp, Telegram) 8-916-150-88-30.