From the author: The article was published on the website: “Lovers begin by playing a comedy of love in front of each other, and end by fooling themselves.” Etienne Rey Today we will talk about mistresses, i.e. e. those women who have sexual relations with married men. Who are these women? Why do they choose to be a mistress again and again, although at the level of consciousness they do not want this? How can you get out of this circle of relationships if you are not satisfied with the role of a mistress? Every healthy woman wants to get married and have a family. The very nature of a woman contains such a desire. Why do some have both a husband and a family, while others, no matter how much they strive for it, remain in the role of mistress? A woman wants to be the One for a man, to feel wanted and needed. How does the one who is only a mistress feel? She understands with her mind and heart that a man comes to her (or she comes to him) for sexual satisfaction. She is needed, first of all, as a sexual partner... A woman, by her nature, needs sex less; foreplay, words, and the relationship itself are important to her. What is more important to her is emotional, spiritual closeness, protection, stability and security. Since men come to their mistresses, they often experience feelings and emotions alone, and in these experiences they most often feel loneliness and the inability to share with the one they love so much, their anxieties. Women who are lovers are in constant anxiety and uncertainty... This situation destroys internal integrity, she gradually loses balance and peace; becomes nervous and irritable. She has to live in deception, because the man he loves has a wife from whom he needs to hide the truth. And the mistress is an accomplice to such deception. Of course, this does not arise from the very beginning; At first she is happy and confident that for her sake he will leave his wife, family and come to her forever... But the more time passes, the more anxiety and doubts there are. A person strives for stability and certainty, this helps to maintain energy and stay in shape. But with a mistress, everything is different. She understands (although she often cannot admit it to herself) that her beloved man is satisfied with precisely this situation, when there is a wife and a mistress: one cooks, washes, cleans, and the second gives love pleasures. Now a little digression and let's look at those same beloved men for whom their mistresses are ready to wait for years and sacrifice not only their time, but also their lives themselves. In my opinion, men who have mistresses are deeply dissatisfied within themselves: the presence of two women in his life at the same time indicates that he is not with one or the other is not completely satisfied with the relationship: otherwise why would he need the two of them? This also suggests that some part of one and part of the other more or less satisfy at the moment the needs of a man - a traitor. I remembered Agafya’s monologue Tikhonovna from the play by N.V. Gogol’s “Marriage”: “If I could put Nikanor Ivanovich’s lips to Ivan Kuzmich’s nose, and take some of the swagger that Baltazar Baltazarych has, and, perhaps, add to this the portliness of Ivan Pavlovich, then I would immediately make up my mind.” This is roughly how these men think. Internal splitting, dissatisfaction with oneself, lack of self-identification and personal (mental) maturity pushes such men to search for mistresses. Let's return to women - lovers. Most often they sacrifice: their time, years of life, interests, starting a family, having children for the sake of one thing - hope that someday He will come forever... No, in appearance they are sometimes very confident in themselves (at first), well-groomed, sexy, but inside there is still the same question: “Does he love or use?” This question deprives her of peace; Believe me, no one wants to be a thing that was used and thrown away. Often, very often, a mistress thinks through entire strategies on how to lure him into her network forever, how to seduce him, how to bewitch him, bewitch him, etc. There are, of course, such