If one day I am not by your side, remember: you are braver than you suspect, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. And one more thing - I will always be with you, even if I am not there. / Alan Alexander Milne How do you like the quote? Does it resonate? Many people, adults and children, want to hear words similar to these from their loved ones. Such phrases strengthen self-confidence, give faith in the best and hope for positive changes - in a word, they provide support. It is useful for an adult to be able to give himself support on his own. But, alas, not everyone realizes this, not having a correspondingly developed internal part within themselves. I don’t know how to give myself support - why? Everyone needs support. It is especially important in childhood, when the baby develops an idea of ​​himself and the world, the foundations of self-esteem are formed and the main milestones of his life scenario are laid. Wise and loving parents, of course, give their child support. Then he does it himself, because thanks to this childhood experience he is sure that he is worthy and knows how to give support. Unfortunately, in real life, not everyone receives full support in their younger years. An adult who has grown from such a child does not have the necessary skill, but often experiences an acute thirst for outside support. Such a thirst often manifests itself through a constant internal urge to help others, based on the subconscious attitude “if I help, everyone will understand how good I am.” , will love me and will support me” or through a state of unhappiness, combined with a silent expectation of the appearance of a person in life who will be able to understand, warm and support. On the other hand, a person who was constantly too much, overly cared for and supported in childhood and continued to tirelessly do this later, also sometimes does not know how to do it on their own, out of habit expecting support from others, or even demanding it from them. Unable to support himself and not receiving anything from people, he gets lost and experiences very difficult conditions. Is the situation hopeless? Until we became adults, we were largely dependent on those around us, including the ability to receive support. A truly mature person is not particularly dependent on others in this sense. Are you still not very good at giving yourself support? Should we blame our loved ones for this? This is your choice. But, if you think about it, with their experience, level of development, living conditions and upbringing, they did everything they could for you. Is the situation hopeless? Of course not! There is a way out of almost any situation. You just need to know what to do and really act, and not just think about it. I want to learn how to give myself support! Do you realize the need to learn how to give yourself support? This means that you are already looking in the direction where success lies. Before you go after him, it’s worth finding out what you need to do in general. A little theory... Formally, if the structure of the psyche is divided into three component parts, you can find Child, Adult and Parental components in it. The thirst for support lies in the Childhood state. Parentalism is realized through the functions of Caring and Criticism. Giving yourself support means developing Caring Parenthood in yourself and curbing the ardor of the Criticizer. If you want to learn how to give yourself support, you have to become, in a certain sense, your own good supportive Parent. What exactly should you do? Let's consider point by point what to do specifically: 1. Determine your own rights. The Bill of Human Rights, developed by the PASA society in the USA in 1988-1989, helps many in this. Are you a human being? Then this applies to you: Every person has the right to: sometimes put themselves first; ask for help and emotional support; protest against unfair treatment or criticism; have their own opinions and beliefs; make mistakes until they find the right path; provide people with the opportunity to solve their problems on their own; say “thank you, no”, “sorry, no”; do not pay attention to the advice of others and