From the author: an excerpt from the book “The Art of Love Trance” Memories as insights Insight through memory is a breakthrough to past experience in which the “I” suddenly realizes that it itself is only a dream, behind which - a deeper and more intelligent world of the soul. As soon as the filters of rigid beliefs about the completeness of knowledge about oneself lose their power, attention allows one to open up to an experience that is as familiar, close, and valuable as it is new and unknown. The past suddenly reveals a deeper layer of experiences, as if switching from schematic habits to the perception of a previously forgotten, but existing in parallel, more perfect consciousness. It is convenient to think of the unconscious as a serving self. The “ego,” always striving for superiority, finds it difficult to believe that it is only a modest dream of the soul, an external and superficial manifestation of the inner cosmos, but not the pinnacle of personality. Facts from personal history, fictions about oneself, emotions and points of view, recalled images and feelings, obligations and preferences of the past... - the source of personality is only a certain way of remembering oneself. The inertia of “ego” stereotypes consists of unconscious fixations on “special” remembered events, fixations on the “only possible point of view,” on emotional emphases, on beliefs that once arose almost by accident. It would be tragic to one day realize oneself as a habit fixed through memory, only a habit programmed in a system of beliefs about past events of the “I”, about its victories and downfalls. The “ego,” unfortunately, cannot compensate for its one-dimensionality through superiority over others or itself in the living movement of the present; such superiority is only possible in a state of solidification, local death, identification with the ideal advantageous “I-image.” Both poverty and the superiority of the “ego” are only a way to remember oneself superficially, inferiorly, at the same time, trying to compensate for the damage at the role level. Memory can be a source of “living” and “dead” water. What makes this water “dead” is the way of gluing together one’s personal history based on annoying humiliating splinters and status victories, “alive” - remembering through right-hemisphere insights, the ability, plunging into the past, to feel, see, enjoy more than resources allowed at the time of those events . Forgetting comes not only with time, forgetting occurs already in the present, sooner than consciousness has time to capture part of what is happening. Due to the fact that many of the mental experiences in their value slide down the hierarchy of priorities, thus the emotional experience remains on the periphery of perception, the very authenticity of the “I” is sent to the periphery, giving way to situational aspirations, benefits, and rationalization. What does it mean to become self-aware? In part, this is remembering oneself at this very moment, when suddenly the deep experience of the present, emotional or physical, breaks into consciousness, when attention suddenly grasps unfamiliar, previously unnoticed feelings, inner smiles and spiritual sadness, the beauty of the external world, the enjoyment of aromas, emotional shades, wealth every moment of experience. On the other hand, to become aware of oneself means to restore from the past that which at the time of the events themselves could not be realized, due to the immaturity of values, the “uselessness” of the emotional and spiritual experience of the individual. Childhood experiences can be incredibly intense, full of emotions, but the happiness of this period is not realized at the time of the experience and is not remembered because it is not yet appreciated by the child. An adult can remember the openness, lightness, magic, sunshine, pleasure of this period if he believes that there is much more in his past than he can rationally imagine, than has already been experienced and taken for granted, more than has already become part of his world. It is more common to think about how the past creates limitations, setting fatal programs for the present and the future, about how the chain of past events, achievements andloss defines today's world of "ego". But in fact, memory itself is an experience lived now, in the present, and today’s values ​​and spiritual readiness can actualize a new past, something that was previously inaccessible. The novelty and value of such memories may be associated with a special emotional coloring and intensity, the energy of past events that was forgotten before. The mirror of consciousness seems to include in its field of vision shadow and happy experiences, saturated with unusually deep feelings, extrasensory acuteness of perception, purity, brightness of emotions. The problem of the “I” is that it is too “SELFISH”, too fixed on itself, identified with itself, and therefore cannot realize the real wealth that is present every moment a little deeper behind the apparent role-playing and rational play of the individual. Honest memories are another reality of the spirit. The past is not linear, and what seems to be consistent growth and development of oneself is very illusory - this is one of those stereotypes that provide sleepy comfort, the confidence that today “I” is certainly better, smarter, more mature, than in a younger period. It may happen that the past will reveal a strange memory, emotional, fresh, piercing: perhaps it will be an experience of childhood or youth, so sudden, deep, happy that it will overturn your existing ideas about yourself. Everything that forms a personality stereotype is perfectly remembered. It’s surprising that people don’t realize that they allow into their memories only that which allows them to maintain the illusion of certainty. Why does the attention of memory focus on external events associated with the formation of status, why does consciousness harden in words once heard and spoken, why is it so beneficial to reduce all the wealth of the soul to a single denominator of good or bad self-esteem. Why judge yourself by comparing and adjusting the past to the templates of beliefs that are beneficial for today. It seems that behind the illusion of rational certainty, rational consistency, and the expediency of personal development, there is a deep fear of not conforming to the mold, of going beyond the boundaries of the hardened “ego.” It can be assumed that this fear is not just a fear of losing control over one’s own integrity, but a reflection of the social fear of losing the illusion of balance, idealized simplicity, unambiguity, clarity of the role of everyone in the system of relationships. Memories in a state of heightened consciousness do not destroy the “history of the formation of the ego” , they cannot at the same time become part of it, because they reflect a different depth of reality, do not lend themselves to rationalization, are too tough for the mind, so these memories come in parallel, striking the consciousness with honesty and strength. These memories are precisely those memories of the soul that are in to a lesser extent are tied to the difficult vicissitudes of victories and defeats, fatally fixing the “ego” in a personal stereotype. Memories in a state of heightened consciousness reflect, rather, completely gratuitous love, unreasonable joy, absolute jubilation, pure deep enjoyment of life itself, beyond specific events, beyond the punishments and rewards programmed by fate. Memories in a state of heightened consciousness are uncombed and truthful: they are indifferent where reason is indignant; they are juicy and magnificent when the mind is indifferent, does not see or remember the reasons for rejoicing. Such memory is distinguished by a special way of perceiving the personal past through the expectation of novelty, through the anticipation of discoveries, without confidence, without a given attitude; perceive the personal past, trying at least for a while to stop evaluating and sorting events rationally, and to catch the aroma of a different memory, more detailed, emotionally free. Such a memory can allow one to recall everything that has been repressed by adult rationalization: extrasensory perception; fleetingly realized and parallelly lived reality of the spirit, intense, swift, living,spontaneous, free from judgments, stereotypes and painful dreams of the “ego”. Freeing himself from the spell of the “Sandman” In one of Bradbury’s science fiction short stories “The Sandman”, the boy Robie Morrison, the main character, accidentally met a fantastic and completely formless invisible creature. The boy called this creature “sandman.” Only with the power of words, Robi instantly took away the freedom of the invisible man, giving form and meaning to what had previously been infinitely polysemantic, multivariate and, precisely because of this, magical. “I’ve been traveling to different worlds for hundreds of years, but this is the first time I’ve fallen into such a trap! – Tears flowed from the sandman’s eyes. “And now, the gods testify, you gave me a name, caught me, locked me in the cage of your thoughts...” And then, in an instant, Robie gains freedom, having guessed to call the invisible man by his own name and thus give him his roles. Without a name and without human form, the boy sets off to travel to endless worlds. As soon as a name begins to mean more than the person to whom it belongs, such a name becomes a vampire, cruelly draining individuality and creative vitality from a person, from his soul, which has forgotten its own depth, becoming a puppet at the mercy of other people’s demands, whims, and judgments. Each blind identification of oneself with superficial rational models impoverishes, taking away the whole cosmos. The name could be different, and the conditions for the development of role stereotypes could be different, the personal history itself, the appearance could be different, but something would remain unchanged - the aroma, the power of individuality, its deep quality. Using the method of penetrating the depth of your soul through each remembered stereotype of the past, you can restore that sensory experience that was not conscious at the time of its relevance, which was completely erased over time. Penetrating through the role stereotypes of the past will allow you to release a whole stream of vitality. Memories can be a source of “dead” water, “cementing” in a personal stereotype, or a “living” open resource for many reincarnations, for penetration into one’s own spirit, for awareness of the incredible in intensity, elasticity of the energy field of one’s own reality. And the first feeling that will follow this penetration is an expansion of boundaries, an awareness of the absurdity of the usual everyday struggle for significance, at a time when the inner world is already far superior to the mind itself, surpasses the narrow prosaic idea of ​​\u200b\u200boneself. The inner space is a little deeper “ cementing” labels of significance, although these role labels themselves do not need to be destroyed, you just need to realize their theater, their game. You just need to realize their superficiality to see behind the wave, high or not, the oceanic depth and intensity. Each label, like an unconscious corset, fetters resources. How could it happen that the very tools of comprehension, modeling reality, became its cementing spell. Like words, designations used to better understand and record all the diversity of the world, reduced the inner world to a narrow circle of vampire labels. To the question “who am I?”, consciousness illuminates - as a rule, only what is beneficial, understandable, functional, but what remains for the not fully comprehended deep components of the soul to do. In the modern world, the heart is not a priority; deep strong feelings - no one needs; true creativity, not based on the need for superiority, has no chance of attention in the world of “selfish” monsters. Purposefully, militantly, cruelly, the “ego” strives for the embodiment of its illusory peaks, not noticing how life itself is being destroyed. The “ego”, like a naive barbarian, attacks the brilliant attributes of happiness, increasingly moving away from the opportunity to touch real treasure, real wisdom, pleasure, which are located just a small step beyond its own usefulness, significance, role benefits. “Naive barbarian” does not knows thatdestroys, does not understand what is truly valuable. Like a child, aggressive, greedy, self-centered, he tries to enslave a world larger than himself, a world that is largely older and intelligent, in order to receive only a surrogate, programmed pleasure, mechanical success. The “ego” cannot understand that it is only a part, that its aggressive desire to assert itself, to prove its right to life is the result of a mistake, being stuck in a two-dimensional plane, in two-dimensional exclusivity, in two-dimensional loneliness. The trap of the past is that it is, in fact, a dream of a small number of plots that precisely stabilize the personality in the stereotype of its social benefits, creating the same effect of hypnosis, cementing the inner space in monotonous role models, as in the case of "Sandman". This way of remembering, superficially anchoring oneself in acceptable, convenient or hateful labels, leads to the fact that the person can become completely stuck in patterns, losing all ability for spontaneity, for self-awareness, for the freedom to go beyond the boundaries of past ideas. It is easy to see how quickly one becomes outdated past roles and meanings of names and words. The key to freedom is the courage to remain unknown to oneself and to other people, spontaneity, inner openness to flashes of awareness. You shouldn’t delve into your memory in search of an ugly discrepancy with your own ideal templates, you don’t need to establish yourself in “good” assessments, it’s best to let the soul itself remember, surprise, burn the consciousness with beauty. Enlightenment is the moment when outdated meanings of self-images, emotions and words fall away like last year's leaves. No, and there cannot be any achievements of the “ego” other than maximum vitality, intensity, and acute awareness in the present. A second before the magic When the cementing self-confidence of the “ego” gives way to ease, consciousness no longer needs to be a fighter, no longer needs to surpass itself, and therefore surpass others, by overcoming its own limitations. It is there, in the flat world, where the soul is under the hypnosis of the template, that a hierarchy is needed, growth above oneself. In the free world there is no growth for the “I”; the “ego” does not strive to surpass itself, does not want to be more perfect than others. On the contrary, in the new multidimensional reality, the personality will cease to be a solid rock, will lose its significance, it, together with all its memories, logic and sensations, knowledge, fears and confidence, will become a dream, relative, insignificant, one of many momentary reflections. The need for superiority is transformed, it will begin to be recognized as part of a game in which victory is conditional, humiliation is conditional. It is at that moment when a person realizes himself as a model, logical, reasonable, but superficial, when the “ego” realizes itself only as a plane, a description, a program, a stereotype - significance will disappear, and with it the false sense of confidence and certainty will temporarily recede , false balance. Depth, pleasure, a whole stream of energy, a whole stream of consciousness and sudden insight - the body seems to change completely, every experience will become much more intense, much more complete. Moving a little deeper than self-affirmation, consciousness will penetrate to a personality a thousand times more interesting, multifaceted, polysemantic, delightful and imperfect. Total pleasure comes after a feeling of acceptance and forgiveness. It’s as if the very source of confidence and knowledge about oneself, common sense itself, recognizes and forgives its own superficiality, recognizes and forgives its conventionality. And such acceptance is significantly more powerful than struggle, and at the same time, much simpler, more trivial. Magic, a completely unusual, fantastically beautiful experience comes after, in the next second. First - something very simple: as if consciousness discovers other sources of balance, except for the shaky defense of the “ego”. It is this new balance that returns to the body the ability for supersensitive pleasure, returnsenergy and lightness. Self-awareness, limited by stereotypes, acts on the individual like a mold for baking cookies. These stereotypes gradually aggravate the hardness, clumsiness and fragility of the “ego”. A second before the magic, the egoistic and self-centered “I” suddenly recognizes its peripherality, inferiority and freedom from itself. All you need is the courage to feel, to see the new unknown space inside, to understand that real value lies beyond self-confident common sense. As if freed from hypnosis, freed from self-suggestion that the self, its status and rational significance are really more important than the infinite unknown, spiritual depth, another awareness returns: tangible, intense, rich, living, elastic and weightless. Score for the heart Anticipate that energetic tension that can be fully similar to the premonition of an orgasm, but a total orgasm, unexpectedly deep, capturing every particle of the soul. You can anticipate a state in which everything emotional, energetic, and bodily is electrified, like moist air before a thunderstorm. A state filled to the brim with pleasure, ready to discharge, explode at any moment, transform into a new quality. Feel physiologically that the body can radiate energy, thick, soft, vibrating, radiate the energy of pleasure completely over the entire surface of the skin. Try to trust the premonition that the hot current of orgasm can penetrate through the muscles all the way to the bone tissue, can penetrate the heart rhythm, can fill the heart with mystical warmth. Feel the pulsation of the heart and plunge into it with consciousness, so that its rhythm becomes a real focus, the depth of the “I” While holding your breath, try to follow the movement of your heart from within. Imagine that the warmth of the heart flares up from the center with each new breath, holding your exhalation at the beginning of the heart pulse. Try to imagine the feeling as if, heart, you yourself are saturated with a piercing attraction, vibrating, intermittent energy, in structure consisting of an abyss of empty ones buzzing with tension particles. It’s as if each such particle can breathe in love, fill its longing emptiness with light, warmth, pleasure. Fill with pleasure that will increase with each subsequent heartbeat. Feel yourself inside the heart pulsation. Become her. Shrink and bloom again as a small part of the universe. Anticipate physiologically a tangible hot light hurricane under high pressure soaring upward. Sparkling and burning with orgasm, this loving flow of energy can engulf the heart, master it, can seep inside, overflowing with burning pleasure. Anticipate a gentle and all-encompassing explosion of light. Imagine that at the moment when your heart contracts, you can experience how pleasure is concentrated, anticipating a light, gentle beginning of an explosion, a rapidly growing flash of orgasm, when with each new contraction the heartbeats become more dazzling, the pleasure slower and deeper. Allow yourself to penetrate, along with the reality-melting glow, deep through the physical, to penetrate to where every vibration is material, tangible, where every love emotion is electrified, ready to transform into a new, incredible experience of pleasure. Allow yourself to plunge into the depths, where every feeling is completely tangible, real as a scent, encrypted in luminous shades, saturated with emotional currents, ready to break into physical reality as a bright pleasure, unearthly pleasure, where bodily sensations, glow and aromas of orgasmic energy have fused into a single incredible oceanic experience. Anticipate the pleasure of your loved one, penetrating to his feelings, physically feeling the emotions through his nerves, feel your own current through his sensations, sharpen your perception in order to feel the spiritual that will open to your.