A few words about how the ability (or inability) to live our feelings affects the quality of our life. How many of us know how to live our feelings in a timely manner? Did you know that the absence of this important skill subconsciously provokes us into fear of life, including fear of something new, change? I suggest you read this article. Let's learn together! Unlived emotions tend to accumulate... in the mind, in the body, in the soul. Scientifically, this is called containment. Now we will talk about negative feelings - shame, guilt, fear, hatred, irritation. Because they, unfortunately, tend to influence life in far from the best way. Due to the excess of negative emotions accumulated since childhood, our internal “container” begins to overflow and, in the end, becomes completely clogged. A person easily reproduces his stereotypical reactions (people say “starts up with half a turn”). It may freeze when a problem appears instead of solving it. The energy of such a person is no longer enough to endure the reactions of his own child. But who, if not us, on the contrary, needs to be able to contain the feelings of our own children and also teach them how to deal with these very feelings correctly! We should be able to live emotions competently. Remember yourself as a child. With any problem you could run to your mother, and she would console, sympathize, pity... Mom became (without even realizing it) a support in experiencing feelings. In this case, the child gains valuable experience that experiencing emotions, even negative ones, is not shameful, but natural. It's normal to feel. The first skills in consoling and supporting (either oneself or someone else) are also acquired. The child grows up and is no longer afraid of life’s challenges, as he feels protected and prepared for life’s ups and downs. If the mother for some reason does not show empathy, then the child, instead of learning to live his feelings environmentally, hides them away, inside himself . Plus, it also spends a lot of energy to keep these unlived emotions inside and under no circumstances let them out! A person marks a negative experience as erroneous, and then, for example, psychological mechanisms of denying “uncomfortable” feelings are activated. Instead of living the situation and letting it go, a person pushes all the negativity deep inside himself and is inclined to condemn himself for its mere presence. How could it be otherwise if he absolutely does not know how to deal with his feelings? In childhood, this skill was not taught... There are two ways of not accepting one’s feelings: 1) “invisibility” syndrome, when a person does not notice his feelings. They turn off automatically. Where there should have been experiences, there remains only a feeling of tension that needs to be released. That is, as quickly as possible to solve the problem that has arisen, which causes this very tension; 2) denial. A person notices his feelings and labels them as inappropriate, incorrect. And he begins to fight with himself, ashamed of his “weaknesses.” Examples of habitual negative feelings in the life of an adult, of which he may not even be aware. Total loneliness, the feeling of which does not go away even in a large human group. The so-called “loneliness in the crowd”, which so heavily and painfully fills the entire inner space of a person... Or background anxiety. She lives with a person always. Constantly. And it is almost impossible to get rid of this reaction on your own. An adult, most likely, will no longer remember under what circumstances this exhausting and constraining feeling was born and settled in him. Or in this way he tried to escape from his father’s aggression, sensitively trying to catch all the fluctuations in his parent’s mood and trying to become good in time so as not to fall under the “hot hand”. And it’s better not to get noticed at all, especially at the wrong time... Or when mom refused help when it was especially necessary... And so,. 8-904-490-34-07