A young man, 25 years old, addressed the issue of addiction to masturbation, and as a result, the impossibility of sexual intercourse with his girlfriend. A 40-year-old man is addicted to masturbation and addicted to watching porn films on the Internet. The addiction developed into hours of stimulation with difficulty achieving ejaculation and the inability to have sexual intercourse with his wife. The two stories described above have a collective image and a common request. They have one common childhood memory - their mother and her reaction to masturbation. Or rather, the lack of reaction. Mom pretended that nothing was happening. It was as if she didn't see anything. The mother repeatedly, entering her son’s room/living room/kitchen, catching the child during the period of stimulation of her genitals, DID NOT GIVE ANY REACTION. A 40-year-old woman, the theme of the appeal is frigidity. Woman, 35 years old, the topic of the request is fear of sexual relations. For women, the range of requests is wider, the main topics are insensitivity, pain during sexual intercourse, aversion to sex. These women are united by one childhood memory - the reaction of their parents to childhood masturbation. Parents shouted, beat, locked me in a room/closet/barn, called me names. What response do girls give when they receive a similar reaction from their parents? The most common phrases are: I AM BAD, I AM DIRTY. Another dangerous moment. If the attitude “I am dirty and bad” is formed, then the result is a high probability of a corresponding lifestyle in the future, or the complete opposite - refusal of sex. Remember what kind of women they talk about in adulthood - dirty and bad, i.e. socially unacceptable. From the topics presented, we encounter two reactions of parents that turned out to be NOT useful for their children: - lack of reaction; - clearly aggressive reaction. How to react when a parent sees/learns/hears/understands that a child is masturbating? How to react in this way - to protect the child and not harm him and yourself? It is imperative to react, because... lack of reaction causes even more tension (provided the child knows that you witnessed the situation). 1. First of all, calm down yourself and, if possible, get out of your state of shock; 2. Talk to your child. It is important that a parent of the same sex speaks to the child (with a girl - mom, with a boy - dad). It is easy to talk about sexuality with young children. It is important for them to specifically answer a specific question; there is no need to complicate the topic with physiological subtleties, as well as shame and guilt. I remember a joke: a child comes up to his dad and asks what abortion is. Dad is confused and sends him to mom, let her explain. The child turns to his mother with the same question. Mom was surprised and asked where he knew this word (where he heard it). The child replies that they are studying the song in kindergarten “and the waves are hitting ABOARD the ship.” The anecdote is indicative of the understanding that children's questions are simple; it is important for us, adults, to understand where they get information from and answer in a language that is understandable to them. There is no sexual history in their questions. And the most important thing is not to be scared or overloaded (the topic of sexuality is already overloaded with fears). 3. Talk about the CULTURE of sexual relations, about the topic of INtimacy and CARE for your body. Genital organs, as well as arms, legs, ears, etc. - parts of our body, and it is important to treat them with care and precision, and keep them clean. This is an intimate zone, which means very personal. And it requires the most careful treatment. This topic is reflected in the article https://www.b17.ru/article/89198/. Before adolescence, children have not yet developed sexual desire (the latent stage of sexual development), explain what can be done in relation to the genitals, what cannot be done, and why. There is a time for everything, and your children will become familiar with the topic of sexuality during their maturity. Early and obsessive interest in one's genitals is just as NOT safe for a child as any obsessive condition. 4. Think about.