Often we call love a huge variety of phenomena and states, which, at best, are similar to it from the “façade”, but not in content. Why is this “bad”? In my opinion, this creates destructive illusions paired with. Partners think that since we say that we love, all is not lost, we must be together, try to be together again and again, ignoring the feelings of indifference/distrust/disgust/condescension/boredom/hatred/coldness/misunderstanding that have long been “prescribed” in the couple / fear (underline as appropriate). Such words of love are spoken out of inertia, unconsciously. We say “I love you” as easily and disembodied as we say “I love chocolate.” The word “love” seems to lose its weight and content. We lack either the objectivity of our view or the courage to see reality. Call what is happening to you by its proper name - attraction, affection, sympathy, convenience, interest... Do not be in illusion and do not mislead your partner. It is more honest to say in response to “I love you”, if there is no response “I love you”, “I really like you”, and it is more honest to hear exactly this last phrase than to be offended and to be in an illusion. For me personally, the synonym and essence of love is acceptance . And period. Acceptance of a person as he is. The key is to start there!!! If from the very moment you meet, there are conditions in your head for love and the expectation that a person will change, this is anything but love for this person. If we need to become different/different, figuratively speaking, to build ourselves up or cut something off from ourselves in order to be “loved”, is this really love? To love means to accept. To be loved means to be accepted. Therefore, it is very important that your values ​​and views on the world and life coincide as much as possible. Not looking at each other, but looking in the same direction - that’s what it means to love “Land of Men” Antoine de Saint-Exupery It is important to be tuned in see this - both your similarities and differences - from the very moment you meet the person you like, and do not compromise with your conscience, turning a blind eye to what repels you in a person, and do not embellish yourself, do not create deliberate illusions. Why this unpopular and inconvenient, at first glance, clarity and honesty? This is how you can meet and find your person - a like-minded, like-minded person, a kindred spirit. And then the thought of changing something in a consonant person simply does not appear. Then it becomes important to understand, explain, and not be offended. Then it’s easy to love. You can’t even call everything else love. Everything else can be calculation, habit, fear of loneliness, falling in love, sexual attraction, pity, need for love... If love is unrequited, and we are sure that we accept and love the person entirely, this is another illusion. Most likely, we love his image in our head or heart (where does love “live” for you?). We a priori strive to change him if we blindly want him to love us, and we are angry that he does not change, we suffer from the discrepancy with our expectations. Illusion is needed to hide the emptiness inside. Arthur Erickson Suffering is never a sign of love. Signs of love are a feeling of gratitude, happiness, joy, fulfillment, generosity, trust, well-being. This is precisely what characterizes an atmosphere of acceptance. The rest, figuratively speaking, is a neurosis of love. In youth, no one is safe from it. A sign, so to speak, of emotional maturity in a relationship is honesty with yourself and your partner, lack of illusions, clarity, desire to understand. Is acceptance alone enough? Acceptance is a necessary condition, it is the basis, the foundation of the building of a relationship. At the same time, I am convinced that love by nature is a verb. It manifests itself through action, namely through care, when we sincerely and freely want to care, and they care about us; when demands for attention, manipulation and mutual claims have no place; when it's easy to care. Owl: I want to give you a free gift... Winnie-the-Pooh: Without what? Owl: Without-cart-bottom! That is, for nothing! When there is caring, accepting love, there is no place for resentment, no quarrels, no swearing,?