Pain is always about what has not been released, what has not been accepted. About the severity and wounds that were in the past. About injustice and resentment, like unfulfilled expectations. About what should have been better, but didn’t happen. But it shouldn’t. For if it had to, it would have happened. At every moment of time we are at the point of intersection of many possibilities. And every second our choice determines which path we choose. Our choice is influenced by many circumstances, in addition to the three main states of our components, body, soul and spirit: what we think, what we feel and what we sense in the body. If take into account that the crossroads that we have come close to includes not even a linear, but a spiral branch of our history, then we will get at the output many factors that we are accustomed to not noticing, but which directly influence our choices. But we often think that our choice is made only by the mind. However, to a greater extent it is carried out by our subconscious and our automatic reactions. Therefore, the word “choice” with such introductory words is a very conditional word. Real choice can be made when we are conscious and take into account all the factors influencing it. And since this does not happen, it is somewhat presumptuous to hope that our decisions could lead us to different results. We were exactly who we were and went through the experience that we needed. Our pain is only a consequence of our half-lived feelings, our departure from them. And when we peer into the depths of ourselves, pain is inevitable. In order for life to flow through us, we need to disassemble everything that is misunderstood and unlived into its components. Consider carefully and with acceptance what constitutes our baggage. Say goodbye to something, fix something. And definitely praise yourself. Accept your imperfection, your courage and weakness. Accept your choices and take responsibility for them. Accept that we definitely don’t have another story and we need this story. For what? Everyone decides for himself what lessons he has learned from his life. How much he took and multiplied the good, or he harbored a grudge against God and took revenge on him (and in fact on himself) for unfulfilled expectations. We punish and judge ourselves. We set ourselves too ideal a bar, and then we are surprised that we don’t reach it. Our parents once felt the same way about themselves. Then come to us. We grow up thinking that if we control everything too much, we can avoid the experiences that make up our lives. And in the end we become dead. And instead of us, the templates of many people live. The closest ones, very significant ones. But not us. And we are somewhere where our childhood ended, and we do not correspond to the image of adulthood that we once came up with. Our inner child sits inside and cries bitterly. For an ideal mom, for an ideal dad and for an ideal life that does not exist. Violating the ideal picture of our perfection, invented not by us, but handed down to us by inheritance. But it has already become ours. So that you can’t tell where is yours and where is someone else’s... Life is always divinely imperfect. Only the dead are ideal. And while they were alive, they were stunningly imperfect. Inconsistent, incorrect, not fitting into the norms and rules of someone assigned as their example and ideal. And only after death they announced that this was it. Reached. Reached the mythical image and is now declared a new idol. Almost God. What if God is not perfect? What if he, alive in flesh and blood, is also considered not ideal and dead idols are set up as an example for him? Lawyers and Pharisees write new concepts, driving the majority into a Procrustean bed of their own benefits. The living and inconvenient are mutilated in order to make it more convenient to trim an English hedge. The living is always inconvenient. It breaks the rules and breaks taboos. His nature goes against the foundations and paves new roads. Any discoveries were made exclusively by those madmen who were not afraid to live. Live from the soul, from the inside and violate public morals and regulations. This text is not about the need to destroy all the rules and establish anarchy. We need rules. But if the rules kill