Read the following statements: I can influence another person and/or change him. If a woman stays overnight with a man (a man with a woman, etc.) - she (him) can touch, you can persuade them to take some action, because they knew what they were doing. You cannot refuse loved ones, even if you have to do something to harm yourself - relationships depend on this. Relationships with loved ones and family must be maintained by any means. At the first When meeting a person, deep and sincere feelings can arise. They can be mutual. After meeting a person (if I liked him), I can (will) make plans for a future together - that’s why we met. A person who helped me in some situation definitely counts on a return favor, a reward. Now I am his debtor. If you agreed with any statement, you have problems with personal boundaries. What are they and why do we need them? Personal boundaries allow you to preserve internal and external resources, protect against burnout and anxiety disorders, and preserve mental health person. Personal boundaries answer the question “how is it possible with me, and what is not?” Personal boundaries give us the understanding that everyone has the same (or slightly different) boundaries and this is normal. This is an important part of personality and a reliable way of interacting with others people. A person who understands their boundaries, designates and defends them is protected from destructive states and their neurotic manifestations (guilt, debt, fear, anxiety, dependence, feelings of helplessness, low self-esteem, codependency), from being used by others, from being used by OTHERS, from manipulation and from psychological violence in both directions. It’s absolutely true that a person does not understand his personal boundaries and does not realize that another person has them. Having his own desires, he achieves them as best he can, without denying himself any means. I’m not saying that a person is doing this for a selfish purpose, but the result of the interaction will be the same: I need it, do it, by all means, and you need it and I’ll do it. Eustarchus is a man with personal boundaries. Ignatius is a man who doesn’t think. about personal boundaries, not knowing about them. - Here's a bean for you, Eustarch! (he thinks that everyone loves beans, I didn’t like them before, now I love them, they didn’t give me anything else, I put up with it, now I eat them and don’t complain) - Thank you, Ignatius, but I don’t eat beans, I don’t like them (I wish I had ice cream)... What do you mean I don’t eat, I don’t like? Eat, no one is asking you! Look, what are you thinking, I don’t love... - I said I won’t, I don’t love... Your behavior worries me, (scares, call the police)... Ignatius, don’t talk to me like that. Yes, you are my friend and maybe you have some ice cream for me, I wouldn't mind some ice cream.. I love ice cream. - So you're going to show off? Are you trying to offend me? With all my heart, and you... Ice cream? Ugh, what an abomination! Yes, friend Eustarch, soft-bodied slug, I had a better opinion of you... For the last time I say - eat the beans! Everyone ate, our grandmothers and great-grandfathers! I myself have never eaten anything other than beans in my life. Chew! Otherwise, you are no longer my friend... What ways out of the situation could there be? Refuse to interact with Ignatius. Defend the borders and defend yourself? Save Ignatius - teach him wisdom? Take offense and take revenge on Ignatius? Eat the beans already, maybe I won’t die? Of course , the example is fictitious and funny, but this is how dialogue (relationships) are built in life with people who do not understand the importance of personal boundaries. And what is more important - you or the relationship? I share my thoughts in my telegram channel https://t.me/sova_otkrivai I’m waiting for personal consultations.