From the author: If a person wants to get psychological help, he will definitely find it. The main thing is to find what is right for him. It happens that, having received psychological help and a qualitative improvement in his own condition during a session, a person, returning to his usual environment, faces certain difficulties. For example, this could be an aggravation of contradictions in relationships with loved ones. In this article I would like to explain the essence of what is happening, that is, to share my understanding of certain moments in the process of psychotherapy. And I hope that this information will be useful for specialists providing psychological assistance and, of course, for those who need this help. The other day, a client with whom we worked quite recently contacted me for the second time. Before she even had time to sit down, she said that after our meeting she had a very serious conflict with her mother, and such conflicts had not happened for quite a long time. I was already ready to share my assumptions, however, there was no need to rush. Then this woman told how she was surprised and pleased by her own state in this quarrel. She remained quite calm and confident in her. When the high emotional intensity subsided, and there was no more energy left for a quarrel, the daughter and mother separated, remaining unchanged in their views. For several days the mother showed her resentment in every possible way and did not come into contact with her daughter. Throughout the entire period, the daughter remained quite calm, and did not ignore her mother in any way, but was quite open to communication. My client stated that now she and her mother are much more tolerant of each other, moreover, they have even somehow become closer. The tension eased significantly, the irritation decreased. This fact probably made the woman very happy, since she could not contain her surprise and repeatedly returned to the description of what was happening. Her bewilderment was also due to the fact that the reason for her contacting me was not a difficult relationship with her mother, but her own state of tension and dissatisfaction. I, too, was sincerely glad about such changes and explained to the client why, in my opinion, they happened. Now I will share my understanding, but before that, a very important point should be clarified. We are talking about the very principle of providing psychological assistance on my part. I don’t teach my clients anything, I don’t give advice, and even more so, I don’t offer ready-made solutions. It is for this reason that I do not offer courses or support. My task: to help the client resolve internal contradictions as soon as possible, get in touch with his own, previously blocked resource, and thereby feel more confident and free. This becomes possible when interacting with the sphere of the unconscious client. Since such work leads to very significant internal changes, it cannot but bring changes to many areas of life, and above all, to the sphere of relationships. Using the example of what my client came into contact with, one can clearly see in dynamics the development of her relationship with her mother over the course of last period. At the time of the appeal, of course, these relations were quite definite. Difficult, intense, but familiar and understandable. And so my daughter, an adult woman, having suffered a fair amount and feeling confused and powerless in terms of independently improving her own emotional and physical state, turned to me for psychological help. I will not dwell on the very reason for the treatment and the description of the process of psychotherapy, since this is not the topic of this article, I will only again mention that it was not the relationship with her mother that bothered the woman; on the contrary, she avoided contact with this context of her life. As a result of our hour and a half interaction, my client’s emotional state changed qualitatively. Her breathing became deeper, the rigidity and tension in her body decreased significantly. The woman was experiencingliterally relief and a surge of energy. She began to perceive key aspects of her life completely differently, and most importantly, her attitude towards herself changed qualitatively, she understood and accepted a lot. So, the changes in her condition were obvious and very significant. My patient changed, both at the level of consciousness, and at the level of the body, and at the emotional level. But has the environment in which she lived changed? No! The family of which she was a member remained the same. Only one link in the family system has changed. It’s not difficult to guess what happened next, but I’ve already mentioned it. The system, represented by another representative, who is the client’s mother, began to resist. And here we are faced with a paradoxical situation! Having received psychological help, feeling much better and even happier, a person expects that his loved ones will share this state with him. However, he often has to deal with pressure and irritation on their part. Surprisingly, we are very sensitive to each other’s condition, especially when it comes to our loved ones and relatives. We unconsciously perceive and feel the slightest changes in others, although we cannot give an explanation for these changes. What if changes in a person’s internal state are significant? They are accompanied by changes in body movements, gait, sound of voice, ways of expressing one's own opinion or defending one's rights. The usual way of communication and interaction is changing. And most often, such changes in the state of one of the members of the system frighten and are denied by its other members. The system resists changes and begins to put pressure on those who intend to acquire something exclusively for themselves. And here questions arise regarding psychological help: Is it worth achieving such serious changes in the client’s internal state if he has to face opposition from the system? is, his family? Isn’t it wiser to introduce changes gradually and little by little, thereby, as it were, “accustoming the system to change?” In my experience, at the time of seeking help, the vast majority of clients are in a state of great deficit of internal energy. This deficiency is felt through negative emotions and feelings, for example: irritation, anger or apathy against a background of fatigue and powerlessness. Moreover, these kinds of feelings significantly exceed positive ones in terms of severity and duration. This, of course, is perceived by the system as a whole and by each member of the system individually. Against this background, tension accumulates in the system itself, which sooner or later will lead to significant changes in its structure. A figurative comparison of the system with a sick organism comes to mind. You can, of course, support the body and accompany it on the long journey of overcoming the disease. Moreover, it is possible that this disease may develop into a chronic form. If a client has to come to a psychologist or psychotherapist many times, and the help itself involves, for example, learning new forms of behavior, I think he simply will not have the strength to resist pressure from the family system. And he will be forced to strengthen himself, rather, in his powerlessness and disbelief in psychological help. Also in this case, the client becomes too dependent in relation to both psychotherapy and the specialist. This option does not really suit me, both as a psychologist and as a client (I also do not deny psychological help for myself). Another option is not to delay the treatment process, but by restoring access to blocked energy, to help raise the temperature inside the body for a speedy recovery. Understanding oneself at a deep level, achieved in the process of interaction with the unconscious sphere, contributes to this very increase in temperature. The entire system has to reckon with such changes in one family member. It is important to note that, despite the discomfort and tension, the system is now able to change and reach a new level,.