Often works of art help to understand what is difficult to explain. I suggest everyone interested in establishing contact with their child and not only with him, watch the film “Arrival”, 2016. Probably, if I had not worked so closely with teenagers, I would never have understood the meaning of this film. Although, the more you penetrate into the essence of phenomena, the more difficult it is to explain them. How to communicate with your child? As F. Dolto (French psychoanalyst, pediatrician) will say to the guest. If we are hospitable, we will want to do a lot to make the person who comes to us feel good, we will try to hear, understand and accept his desires. Of course, I’m not talking about ordinary everyday communication, but about that which gives our guest/child the opportunity to express himself, which gives him a place, gives him a chance to be/become a person in the eyes of another. What should such communication be like? Just like in the movie “Arrival”, because the aliens are the same guests. For me, this film is about how important personal contact is, and about how deep, accepting, open and fragile it can be. Just as courageously as the heroine of this film takes off her spacesuit in front of aliens, a person talking to another bares his soul. It takes courage, that's for sure. Yes, I am sure that it is a woman, a mother - in the broad sense of the word - who is capable of such selflessness. Hello Dalai Lama! It is such a woman who can save her family and the whole world every day, as shown in the film. And in the center of this world there is a mother and child, they communicate using words, hand to hand, eye to eye. And of course, in this picture of the world there is a man/father, his role, at first glance, is not so important, he is somewhere on the periphery, guarding the borders, but it is thanks to his presence, calmness and readiness to come to the rescue at any moment that a woman can relax and be in touch with this little “alien”. So the world is not a circle, but a triangle. Here everyone has their own important place, neither diminished nor taken away, and no one can take the place of another, otherwise there will be a disaster, the world is in danger! The weakest, most sensitive link in this chain is the child. It is he who needs this communication most of all, this sincere interest in him, which can then protect him from unnecessary problems and become his “autopilot”. Even so, I believe that it is precisely this kind of communication that he, still a small person, “vitally” needs. By “vital” I mean his mental life, because it is this that makes us human, let’s remember the Mowgli children, and the key to this life is our language, communication with others. The tension with which the “specialist” in this film is covered with incredible force comes into contact with the “alien”. It’s so alarming when you don’t know exactly what to do and every word can be your last or cost someone’s life, like on a helpline, isn’t it. And so many daily external factors need to be taken into account, and the most important thing under all this stress is not to destroy contact, that very fragile and very important one. And how much patience and psychological endurance is needed here, you need to take on the risk of this “meeting” with another. Mothers are able to “run” these long distances when this daily spiritual contribution is needed; it is more difficult for fathers, but their main function is to protect borders, but that’s a slightly different story. Are you familiar with loneliness in two or three? Today people have little sincere interest in each other, even within their families; they simply do things together. Interest in children is limited to the issue of school; the spouses discuss joint purchases and vacations. If you want your husband to look at you with an interested look again, ask him: “What is he feeling right now?” This question is so surprising, isn't it. Then the struggle for power and the answer to the question of who is the most important (most aggressive) here fade into the background. This is no longer so important when there is contact, when there is a means of communication - our language. The symbol of which in this film was the telephone. The phone can connect people when you are listening, tuned in to another and!