Hello, I wanted to consult with you about my child. My son is 5 years old. He started to fight, we play games together, if something doesn’t suit him or he loses, he starts to unravel his arms and legs? When he does that, I start to get lost! I tell mom you can’t hit her, if someone hits you, it will hurt you. Does not understand. What should I do?_______Hello, K.! Children's aggression is not always bad. This is a natural, healthy reaction of the body and psyche to stress. Let’s figure out how to help a child when he experiences aggression, so that he expresses it adequately. 1. The child must be explained that it happens in games that he will not always win, he needs to prepare and learn to react to loss. 2. That is, explain to him that this situation is a learning situation for him. 3. You definitely need to tell the child that you understand his feelings, how hard it is for him now, that he is upset, that he is angry and angry. And this is a normal manifestation of the feelings of any person when he loses and does not get what he wants. That is, you need to join the child so that he understands that you are on his side and share his feelings.4. Ask him to tell you about his feelings. Your task is to teach your child to verbally, that is, in words, talk about his feelings, recognize them and name them out loud.5. Tell your son how you feel when you yourself lose.6. Tell him how you deal with the fact that you are losing. That you also get upset, that you feel sad, maybe sometimes offended, maybe you get angry and so on. That is, sincerely tell him how this is happening for you. And note that when you were little, you had the same thing, but when you grew up, your attitude changed. So that he understands where to grow. And how does this happen in people at different ages? I think your son will be able to understand this. Also tell him that when you lose while playing with him, you are not upset at all, because you love your son, and you play with him because you have a lot of fun. And then losing is not a frustration for you, but is simply a game, one of the elements of the game. And when he wins and you lose, you are not upset, but happy for him. Explain to him that there is nothing wrong with this, any loss can be used for your benefit, learn to hone your skills, attention, forecasting, and so on. Find those words that the child will understand.7. Your son is now at a stage where he needs to learn emotional self-regulation. But this thing is not easy. And while he is learning, he can take out his aggression on some specific object, it could be a pillow, some kind of punching bag, a corner of the sofa, that is, something that you don’t mind if it is damaged.8. And, of course, you correctly explained to him that it is impossible to take out aggression on a person, on you, precisely in the event of a loss. You can only fight if you are physically attacked. That is, too, choose words so as not to provoke the child into additional aggression, but to explain to him how other people cope with theirs.9. It is not enough to prohibit your child from taking out aggression on you; you need to give him a way to deal with it in the most appropriate way. That is, as I already wrote, it could be some kind of object that he can actively beat.10. It would be very cool if you didn’t play with him those games where someone loses, but replaced them with games of joint creativity, where in any case both win. That is, someone can do more in the game, someone less, but both win. Thus, through play, we do not teach children to compete, but teach children to cooperate.11. Be sure to praise your child, even if he lost, note his abilities, his capabilities, pay attention to how he learns and increases his skills. But once again, it is better to replace the games with more productive ones.12. Why does a child get angry because you have different weight categories, and an adult will always win. +7 985 586 73 10.