From the author: A young married couple faces many serious problems. One of them is how to live, get along or survive with your parents. As usual, I answer questions from readers of the family portal. The first family information portal of Kazakhstan "PandaLand" Publication dated 03/03/2016 http://pandaland.kz/articles/semya/psihologiya-282/zhizn-s-roditelyami-muchenie-ili-blago Housing issue is the main cause of family troubles. Often, when children grow up, they have to live with their parents in order to save on rent, since it is not always possible to buy their own corner. And, as practice shows, finding harmony in such a situation is not at all easy. How to get along with your husband's or wife's parents? Do we need to protect our love from those who gave us life? Natalya Imtosimi traditionally responds to the most frank letters from our readers. Good afternoon, dear psychologist! Without preamble, I will move on to my situation and question. I live with my father, mother, my husband's sister, my husband and my one-year-old son. I feel that my husband's parents don't really love me. They make me out to be extreme (I justify them by the fact that I’m essentially nobody to them, I’m kind of a freeloader). However, it always hurts me terribly. Over the past few months I have been in a chronically bad mood (especially when my husband’s relatives are nearby). I love and respect my husband very much, and I respect his parents (but I don’t love them). I even tried to leave for a week (to give myself a vacation from people who were unpleasant to me) while I was away, I felt such lightness and freedom, and I really didn’t want to go back... But, upon arrival, it was as if I had never left, the feelings were just nightmare. I have a constant desire to hide in my room so as not to see face to face with my husband’s relatives; I no longer willingly talk to them (no conversations with a cup of tea). I just feel like I'm slowly starting to hate everything. Sometimes I regret that I got married. For your information, I’m studying for a master’s degree, my maternity leave has already lasted for a year and a half. We've all been living together for 2 years (a year ago I didn't have this condition, although the attitude towards me from my husband's relatives did not change). I think maybe I’m screwing myself up, and in fact everything is fine... I have a loving, caring husband, a healthy, cheerful child, a favorite profession, but constantly staying at home depresses me, and my parents’ reproaches for no reason finish me off and make me feel yourself as a neglected, terrible housewife, and a service staff, or a second-class citizen, and so on, so on. I read the story about your situation, but, unfortunately, I didn’t see the question. If I understand correctly, you are experiencing mixed feelings and it is difficult for you to sort them out. These conflicting feelings are also mixed with a feeling of guilt, because your husband loves you, what else, they say, is needed? Each family begins with creating its own rules in the process of “grinding in,” sharing responsibilities, building its own space. One of the most important tasks is psychological separation from parents. This is very important, and we find confirmation of this not only in numerous studies by psychologists, but also in the Bible: “a man will leave his father and his mother and be united to his wife; and they will become one flesh.” If this “leave” does not happen, if two families live on the same territory, then confusion of roles often occurs, which hinders your development as husband and wife, master and mistress, father and mother. Love relationships can also be difficult or minimized in the constant presence of prying eyes, there is no opportunity to spend leisure time, invite someone to visit, learn to manage a budget, make independent decisions. About the same thing happens in your soul: it seems like family, but it seems not. They seem to be adults, since they got married, but for some reason I feel like “a second-class citizen.” It is important to understand whether you are already independent adults, even if you live in the same territory as your parents, or whether it is beneficial for you not to grow up, not to take responsibility, to shift the decision.