In our lives we constantly face difficulties and problems. This is a natural process, we are all diverse and not repeatable, which means we do not always manage to understand each other. The more we develop ourselves, the greater the gap in understanding becomes. Everyone paints pictures of the reality of their life in their own way: some pay attention to details and do not see the whole, while others miss them with broad strokes. When we are inside the process of a difficult situation, it is almost impossible to track the objectivity of the perception of the moment. Blind moments always distort reality, but you need to cope, at least to minimize mental trauma. I bring to your attention the NLP technique, which is used in coaching to help a person in a difficult situation. It has several different types and names, but does not change the essence. This option has been modified and tested by me many times, the result is positive in 70% of clients, the remaining 30% move from coaching to counseling or therapy. “4-position cognitive model of perception” is a tool created to examine the current reality of human life. The model suggests looking at the situation from different points of view. It is used as part of the main coaching model - GROW - in the form of an expansion of the description of a person’s reality and as an independent model to help get out of a difficult situation. The model consists of four stages: “I myself” - the client’s vision of the situation from the inside. This point is a blind spot for the client; it is more likely for a psychologist/coach. I'm sure each of you has your own secret tricks that help kickstart the coaching or consulting process. I will not describe this moment. Next, we invite the client to describe a situation that is so unpleasant for him and takes him out of his comfort zone. We can ask him the following series of questions, which will help to understand the essence of his problem: What exactly do you not like? How many people are involved in the conflict? Which participant in the situation is your main opponent? What moments particularly touch you? How much does this situation traumatize you, what is happening? Are you taking any action in this situation? Have you looked to anyone for support? Have you tried to relieve the tension on your own or change the situation, if so, then how? Help: If this is an interpersonal relationship, he should describe the other participant in the situation in more detail. If this is a confrontation between “I and the collective”, then the main significant persons. Often, when describing, clients begin at this stage to approach an objective understanding of the situation and the problem as a whole. Let me remind you that coaching only works with a healthy, successful person. If you see that the client has psychological problems, then you can offer him something different. For example, in-depth study of response triggers, etc. “I am different” - seeing the situation from the position of another participant in the situation, who is only an observer. Offer to choose from all the participants or observers of the conflict situation the one who is most significant to the client (friends/colleagues/family, everyone who knows about this situation). Ask him what he says about this situation. If the client has never asked him for this kind of help in his life, then ask him to model/imagine that this is happening. Write down his answers, they will be able to help him analyze the situation later. At this stage, you can use this technique from the category of working with the unconscious - “Help of the Sage.” Suggest that you imagine that the client has the opportunity to talk with a truly universally recognized authority, the one that comes to mind first. We work in metaphor. It could be Vasilisa the Wise, Puss in Boots, Aristotle or Mendeleev, it doesn’t matter whether it’s the Fox or Khoja Nasreddin. When I was learning this method, the image of Lev Nikolayevich Tolstoy appeared: so he says to me... my soul Elena Anatolyevna, why did you decide that this is exactly so... and then everything went from there))) After that