To be able to live a full life, a person needs to learn to forgive insults. Today I will tell you how to take a step towards getting rid of this feeling. Despite the fact that our lives are quite short, already in childhood we carry in our hearts a huge number of grievances against our mother, father, grandmother, and girlfriend. As adults, we are faced with betrayals from loved ones, lack of acceptance by society, and this only makes the situation worse. People around us offend us almost every day, but only we decide whether to carry the insults with us and experience unnecessary stress and worries, or get rid of them and live a full life. You may have already come to the conclusion that you want to forgive your offender, but not you know how to do it! But before we move on to the advice, let's figure out what the benefits of getting rid of grievances are. Why learn to forgive? Surely you have heard, or even felt, how resentment “lies in a lump” in your heart and turns into a difficult burden. As a result, you can observe sleep disturbances, constant tension due to thoughts that are constantly “spinning” in your head. The more you carry a grudge, the more problems it causes. As a result, the offended person may develop psychosomatic illnesses. How to learn to forgive? Now let’s move on to simple tips that will help you take a step towards getting rid of the offense, and towards complete forgiveness of the offender. Tip 1. Realize the true meaning of the offense. Try to imagine yourself as an outside listener to the conflict . Play out the current situation in your head. With a sober assessment of what happened, 90% of people look at the situation on an optimistic note. Under the influence of violent emotions, you and your offender could say a variety of nasty things that had no personal content. If the situation is trivial, then why waste your nerves and time “steaming” in resentment. Tip 2. Give free rein to aggression. This is not about the beatings that you would like to inflict on the offender, but about training, drawing, running and other ways to get rid of the tension that is destroying you. You will see how it becomes easier for you to do things you love, which also lift your spirits. Tip 3. Find out the person who offended you In this case, it is recommended to analyze why you were offended! Perhaps the person did not even think of doing this, it’s just his manner of behavior, and you have your own way of reacting. None of you are to blame, you are just different. If this is the case, you can talk to the offender and convey information that his behavior is unpleasant for you, ask him not to act in this way. Tip 4. Talk about the offense If you cannot tell your offender about this, which is very in vain, because he can and if you don’t know that your behavior is causing you inconvenience, write him a letter. In this letter you can throw out all the negative emotions, tell how it hurts and a lot of other information you need. The letter does not have to be sent, when it has fulfilled its function, you can do whatever you want with it, for example, burn it. Tip 5. Look at yourself “soberly” It’s no secret that two people are to blame for litter. This is why I recommend looking at your behavior “from the outside.” Nobody argues that your offender is to blame, but your 50% is also present. Perhaps, by your behavior in the conflict, you inadvertently provoked a bad attitude towards you. In conclusion, I would like to say that in old age you do not deserve to turn into a person who is angry with everyone, hates himself and life, and suffers from many illnesses. Let go of grudges, live long and happily. With uv. Pavlenko Tatyana, psychologist, specialist in working with relationships and psychosomaticstel: 0976953203e-mail: [email protected]