“My brain is exploding! It doesn't happen like that!! - We shout in response to the obvious confusion coming from outside. The lack of logical connections and the impossibility of building them is, in fact, a strong frustrating factor. Indeed, the brain is designed in such a way that it is very important for us to Understand, Structure, Designate any phenomena of reality in order to at least somehow relate to them. Hang the label “Helpful”, “Harmful”, “Indifferent” accordingly. And wanting to do this is understandable and even healthy. Well, that's fine. Everyone does it!!! And they are right. This way you can feel the clarity and support of the world. After all, chaos, the absence of rules, supports and structure gives rise to anxiety. Sometimes very strong. Psychotic. Nothing is clear there at all and it’s very scary. Example - Panic Attacks. Here is the loss of supports, structure and flooding with fear. And I agree. I don’t even argue... Structure is important. This is why we need psychological protection. They “close” us from anxiety and allow us to cope with it. But this is not about this, but about the fact that we human beings treat each other in the same way. Yes, it is difficult for us not to simplify, not to structure, not to explain to each other. This way we reduce our anxiety from the unpredictability of contact. Something that we can meet in another and not be disturbed - a green light. If the quality of another greatly bothers us (we come across something painful in contact), then red! This way we can get hurt less and avoid sharp corners of communication and “sharp” people. About which we differ, while others don’t quite agree. And! What remains in the background is the process of simplifying a certain multifaceted and three-dimensional event, a three-dimensional Personality, into some understandable construct, which is important to define in one of the three bags “useful-harmful-indifferent”. Each and every one of us is multifaceted. But one of our surroundings envies our intelligence and competes for nothing, the second cannot be turned to by the weak, dependent part, the third cannot tolerate any kind of anger and stops communication as soon as it smells like something is fried. And then we narrow, flatten, and reduce ourselves to what is acceptable for a particular person. For what? Why do we allow ourselves to not be whole? It’s simple. It’s important to feel a sense of belonging, to feel connected to someone. And of course there is a fear that if we show ourselves whole, we will be rejected. And yes, many of our contacts are built on what we choose with whom and how you can be, from whom and what you can ask, so that you can receive. One will praise, but will not regret. Another will regret, but will envy and will not praise, will not give recognition. But! Still, there are people who are able to withstand the entire volume of our personality. Capable of being in both joy and sorrow. To endure our sieve feelings. Those who don’t expect you to become comfortable, don’t demand what you don’t have, and thank you for what you have. Now, perhaps, a somewhat ideal picture will emerge. I would like to protect you from such perception. These people also have everything in order with their boundaries. Acceptance of differences does not mean permissiveness. This means being mutually capable of close relationships. On Proximity, not dependence. And these are the most valuable people. Around whom you can be yourself. And now I’m not describing a character from a fairy tale. I'm talking primarily about Proximity. Intimacy is built on trust, mutual affection, and friendship. In intimacy you can be different. The ability for intimacy and truly close relationships is what the therapist works on in therapy. In intimacy there are no locked topics or forbidden feelings. You are multifaceted in your personality for another and the other is multifaceted and rich in this for you. Some are happy to remain capable of intimacy from birth, for others it is years of work in personal therapy. Intimacy - the happiness of acceptance.