Anxious children. In psychology, anxiety is understood as “a stable personal formation that persists over a long time,” emotional discomfort. Types of anxiety Anxiety as a personality quality. Inherent in an asthenic child who is prone to pessimism. Most often, this approach to life is adopted from loved ones. Such a child is very similar to his parents. Example. The mother of a 7-year-old girl complained that her daughter could not approach the teacher to ask something and cried when they parted. During the conversation, the woman’s speech was quiet and intermittent, and there were tears in her eyes. In such cases, it is difficult to fully understand what in the child’s behavior is the result of upbringing and what was inherited. Much depends on innate character traits, for example, such anxiety is characteristic of children with a melancholic temperament. Such a child will always experience some kind of emotional discomfort, he slowly adapts to certain situations, and any change in his usual life will deprive him of his mental balance for a long time. Situational anxiety is associated with a specific situation and is the result of some events. For example, after a painful procedure with a doctor, a child begins to be afraid of all doctors. Often children, regardless of age, are afraid to make purchases in a store on their own. Knowing about the upcoming trip to the store, the child gets upset in advance, his mood deteriorates, he prefers to be left without candy than to buy it himself. Situational anxiety can be minimized, but not everyone can get rid of it completely - many adults still have anxiety before a visit to the doctor, or a test. School anxiety is a type of situational anxiety. The child is worried and worried about everything related to school. He is afraid of tests, of answering at the board, of getting a bad mark, of making a mistake. Such anxiety often manifests itself in children whose parents have high demands and expectations, in children who are compared with more successful peers. Such anxiety is often found in classes of six-year-olds - such young children can cry because of minor difficulties (forgot a ruler, did not understand what to do, parents arrived five minutes late, etc.). As the child gets older, he reacts less emotionally to difficulties, feeling more competent, he is less afraid of change and adapts to changes faster. Types of anxious children Neurotics. Children with somatic manifestations (tics, stuttering, enuresis, etc.). The problem of such children goes beyond the competence of a psychologist; the help of a neurologist or psychiatrist is needed. Such children need to be allowed to speak out, and parents should be asked not to focus on somatic manifestations. It is necessary to create a situation of comfort, acceptance for the child and minimize the traumatic factor. It is useful for such children to draw fears and act them out. Any manifestation of activity will help them, for example, hitting a pillow, hugging soft toys. Disinhibited. Very active, emotional children with deeply hidden fears. At first they try to study well, but if this does not work out, then they become violators of discipline. They may deliberately expose themselves to ridicule in front of the class. They react to criticism with marked indifference. He tries to drown out fear with his increased activity. There may be mild organic disorders that interfere with successful studies (problems with memory, attention, fine motor skills). Such children need the friendly attitude of others, support from the teacher and classmates. We need to create a feeling of success in them, help them believe in their own strength. During classes, it is necessary to give an outlet for their activity. Shy ones. Usually these are quiet, charming children, they are afraid to answer at the board, do not raise their hands, lack initiative, are very diligent in their studies, and have problems establishing contact with peers. They are afraid to ask the teacher about something, they are very scared if he raises his voice (even to another), they often cry over little things, they worryif they didn't do something. They willingly communicate with a psychologist or teacher personally (individually). Such children will be helped by a group of peers selected according to their interests. Adults should provide support, in case of difficulties, calmly offer ways out of situations, praise more, recognize the child’s right to make mistakes. Closed. Gloomy, unfriendly children. They do not react at all to criticism, they try not to come into contact with adults, avoid noisy games, and sit on their own. There may be problems in studying due to a lack of interest and involvement in the process. They behave as if they expect a dirty trick from everyone. It is important for such children to find an area that interests them (dinosaurs, computers, etc.) and through discussion and conversations on this topic to establish communication. Characteristics of anxious children After several weeks of illness, the child does not want to go to school. The child rereads the same books several times, watches the same films, cartoons, refusing everything new. The child strives to maintain ideal order, for example, with manic persistence lays out the pens in the pencil case in a certain sequence. If a child is easily excitable and emotional, he can “get infected” with anxiety from loved ones. The child is very nervous during tests, constantly asks questions during lessons, requires detailed explanations. He gets tired quickly, gets tired, has a hard time switching to other activities .If he cannot immediately complete a task, he refuses to carry it out further. He tends to blame himself for all the troubles that happen to loved ones. How to help a child overcome anxiety (recommendations for parents of anxious children) It is necessary to understand and accept the child’s anxiety - he has every right to it. Be interested in his life, thoughts, feelings, fears. Teach him to talk about it, discuss situations from school life together, look for a way out together. Learn to draw a useful conclusion from the unpleasant situations you have experienced - you gain experience, you have the opportunity to avoid even greater troubles, etc. The child should be sure that he can always turn to you for help and advice. Even if children’s problems do not seem serious to you, recognize his right to worry, be sure to sympathize (“Yes, it’s unpleasant, it’s offensive...”). And only after expressing understanding and sympathy, help find a solution, see the positive sides. Help the child overcome anxiety - create conditions in which he will be less afraid. If a child is afraid to ask passers-by for directions or buy something in a store, then do it with him. That. you will show how you can solve a disturbing situation. If your child missed many days at school due to illness, try to make his return gradual - for example, come together after school, find out his homework, let him talk with classmates on the phone; limit the time spent at school - do not leave the first time for after-school activities, avoid overload. In difficult situations, do not try to do everything for the child - offer to think and cope with the problem together, sometimes just your presence is enough. If the child does not speak openly about difficulties, but he has symptoms of anxiety, play together, playing out possible difficult situations through games with soldiers and dolls, maybe the child himself will suggest a plot, a development of events. Through the game, you can show possible solutions to a particular problem. Prepare an anxious child in advance for life changes and important events - stipulate what will happen. Do not try to improve the performance of such a child by describing the upcoming difficulties in black terms. For example, emphasizing what a serious test awaits him. It is better to share your anxiety with your child in the past tense: “At first I was afraid of this..., but then this happened and I succeeded...” Try to look for the positives in any situation (“every cloud has a silver lining”): mistakes in a test are an important experience; you understand what needs to be repeated, what to pay attention to... It is important to teach a child to put