From the author: All examples are taken with the permission of the group members. Time flies. It turns out that for the third summer we are going to the country gestalt. Whatever one may say, such trips are very different from ordinary groups. Informal communication outside the main classes allows you to see ways of interaction more broadly, and if someone is not satisfied with something in another, there is an opportunity to express dissatisfaction in the safe conditions of the class itself. It all starts, as usual, with getting to know each other. Who's name is what and who's worried about what. And they began to pour into the circle: fatigue from work, their own imperfections, problems with the child, guilt in front of the child, femininity and sexuality, a strange relationship with a friend and, suddenly, an intriguing saucepan, the contents of which we will find out later. For now, work with the couple. Excerpts from the session. Here is the already corrected dialogue. through facilitation. A facilitator is an accompanying person, a translator of what a person actually wants to say. Usually this work is performed by a trainer - a therapist. - I’m angry with you that you’re stupid sometimes. And I’m also angry that I don’t have time to do everything for you. But somehow I came, and you were cold towards me. I was very scared, I felt scared. I realized that I was afraid of losing you. “And I’m afraid of this, that you will change your attitude towards me, and you kept lying, it turns out.” You don't accept me. And you will leave me,” N.’s eyes well up with tears. We share irritation, complaints and the desire to be together. They are not identical... I'll suggest a phrase. He says it: “I’m not ready to part with you, even if I don’t like something about you.” It's the little things. N. looks surprised and joyful, worried, and says: “Yes, yes, I was hooked.” Not ready... - repeats several times. Then he laughs. Having laughed, she said, “I don’t believe it, but I’m pleased.” Very. They never told me this. - Why don’t you believe it? - I don’t believe it, because we already have sex. And... I’m embarrassed to bring up something so personal here, but I’ll say it. I really like sex. For the first time I feel that there is no lust. The caresses themselves, penetration... Everything is new and interesting for me, but when it all ends and we part, I feel uncomfortable. It’s not clear... And you become different after sex. - What exactly? - I ask. “Alienated,” she gives everyday examples that do not correspond to her conclusions. “Are you afraid of losing him?” - I ask. - No, I’m afraid that he will change his attitude towards me. - And then what? “We’ll separate,” tears well up. “Will you be left alone?” “Yes.” “Are you afraid of losing him?” “Yes,” she exhales. They look at each other for a few more minutes. They were talking. It was surprisingly strange and scary for her to admit that she needed him. She often talked about a rollback of feelings, about the fact that feelings would go away. And I told her that the feelings don’t go away. They simply change, then fade, then flare up again, but they remain with us. And therefore, it is not necessary to part with every grievance; you can clarify and move on. Satisfied, they return to the circle. Having collected in the responses sympathy, admiration for courage, joy and many other feelings, we continue further. Next story. Young man D. Began to notice an increase in disgust for the external female genital organs: the clitoris and labia. Arrangement. Roles: Vagina. Clitoris and labia, and D. “I can’t look. This is all very big. I am not comfortable. I want to stand with my back. He comes closer and stands with his back. That's so good. It’s so safe.” He moves back to the starting point again. The clitoris says: “I want to demand, I need everything. You have to do it, but it’s not enough for me.” D.: It scares me, it makes me uncomfortable. I want to penetrate the vagina and womb, bypassing the lips and clitoris. It passes, gets “inside the womb.” “Here I feel good, calm. I’m happy.”D.’s own comments on this matter: That’s right, I even like to sleep with a woman hugging me from the back. I saw myself as a child. I missed my mother's tenderness and love. And now this feeling has intensified. - And the Clitoris, as the center of female egoism, as a symbol and metaphor of female)