Are you often told that you are too sensitive and overreact to everything? Do you often feel offended and disappointed in people, do you feel that you are being neglected? Is your self-esteem highly variable and depends on whether you were complimented or criticized? Does your self-esteem fluctuate from complete satisfaction with yourself to complete zero? If you answer yes to these questions, then perhaps it will be useful for you to learn more about your vulnerability in order to understand yourself better and reduce your discomfort in communication situations. Shaky confidence in the basic value of your “I” is a very difficult feeling. We strive to build this confidence and seek admiration from other people, as well as remind ourselves that we are much (in superior shape) better than other people. At the same time, somewhere inside there is a feeling that our own value at this moment depends on how other people see us. There is also often a fear that these people will reject us or ridicule us as soon as they notice our vulnerability. Most people feel this way in certain situations, but for some people, unstable self-esteem is a way of living. If you feel at the mercy of the world, other people and circumstances? If in the center of admiring attention you feel confident and satisfied with yourself, but in the absence of attention you feel useless and worthless? - then you should admit that you lack internal mechanisms to regulate and stabilize your self-esteem so that it does not depend on how others perceive you. E. Greenberg writes that for narcissistically vulnerable people their self-confidence is like a column of mercury a thermometer that rises and falls depending on what is happening outside. When it's warm outside, i.e. other people admire, the column rises when it is cold, i.e. other people criticize us or are indifferent to us - omitted. As a result, our self-esteem may turn out to be too dependent on the opinions, words and actions of other people, even those closest to us. And then we feel unable to reassure, please and encourage ourselves on our own, but only expect that those around us will guess our needs and give us what we want. And we feel resentful when our loved ones don’t realize it, and we feel angry when they don’t alleviate our suffering. To maintain internal balance and strength, it is important for us to be able to independently strengthen our self-esteem and maintain a sense of self-worth, so as not to be hurt by the inattention and misunderstanding of others. In the most extreme cases, with unstable self-esteem and increased vulnerability, a person may criticize himself instead of support, begin to scold himself, experience hatred and drives oneself to depression. Another defense mechanism is to wear a mask of confidence. Other people often admire and envy those who wear a mask, and would like to be as holistic and confident, and do not realize that under the mask there is often a feeling of insecurity. The mask provides a sense of security, but also increases the fear that under the gaze of people, vulnerability and flawed personality will be revealed. Regardless of whether you feel this way occasionally or often, there are ways you can help yourself when you feel insecure: Remember that healthy self-esteem takes on a stable quality when it is based on a realistic understanding of your strengths and weaknesses, rather than on the opinions of other people. Therefore, you can remind yourself that, for example, you have intelligence by nature, and this quality will not disappear if sometimes you do not know or do not understand something. Your qualities and achievements do not disappear if someone does not recognize them - you know that they were and are in your life. Remind yourself of everything that you have done successfully in your life. If you spend a few minutes reviewing your successes (instead of your failures) you will likely feel better faster. Instead of making significant]