From the author: What to do if your teenage daughter “seems to have been replaced”? Response to a letter from parents: “Previously, our daughter was diligent in her studies, worried about bad grades, and played sports seriously. But some time after she turned twelve, it was as if she had been replaced. I slipped in all subjects and lost interest in sports. He doesn’t accept help, he says I’ll figure it out myself. She often began to be rude and demonstrate her independence. Sometimes moments of “enlightenment” come, we again see the same kind and sincere daughter, but not for long. She seems to be copying the behavior of her friends. Conflicts have become more frequent. She is more interested in the Internet and chats, but she is confident that she will be able to finish school and enter a university. We tried to talk confidentially and explain, and punish, and talk, but the effect was almost zero. It feels like she’s just waiting for us to fall behind. We are afraid that we might miss her, lose trust, and the girl will be completely influenced by the street. And we, like any parents, want our daughter to be happy, get an education, and achieve something in life. What else can be done in such a situation?”************************************************ ****************Unfortunately, this is a very common situation today. And it is worth considering it from several sides. Age-related features of the development of the physiology and psyche of a teenager. Rapid hormonal changes begin, the body is destabilized, internal organs develop and work not in a “close community”, but at odds, hence the instability of both health and mental state. A colossal amount of energy is spent on somehow compensating for these processes. I will add that the teenager is not aware of all these processes, he (she) does not know how to calculate his own strength, what is happening to them - I don’t understand, moreover, it is very difficult for a teenager to assess how NORMAL everything that is happening to him is. There is a fear of being “flawed”, “abnormal” and being expelled from the community of peers. The second problem of adolescence is socialization. For a teenager, this is one of the basic needs - to be a member of the community, to BELONG to some social group. It is possible that, from the point of view of an adult, this is a “herd instinct”, but for a teenager it is a process of socialization - the ability to be recognized and significant in society; the process of identifying oneself as a member of society: “What am I worth? What place do I occupy in this world? ", etc. No less important during this period for a teenager is awareness of himself as an individual, as a man or a woman, awareness of his pros and cons. The teenager experiences a change in values ​​and guidelines, and this is greatly facilitated by that environment, that environment in which he exists, and, of course, the media, the Internet... The teenager considers himself the center of the universe. all other people are somewhere on the periphery and are intended solely to serve him in one way or another. they all work for him and for him. Moreover, they owe him everything, and he either owes them nothing or cannot do anything. The teenager constantly asserts himself. in any way. at any cost. even when he hides from everyone, he also asserts his right to SPECIFICITY AND UNIQUENESS. It is important for him to be like everyone else - but only cooler - and at the same time to be sharply different from everyone else, again emphasizing his personal uniqueness. He extremely rarely takes responsibility for what is happening to him and his loved ones, because this is usually done , he doesn’t know how. He believes that he is always right - and others are to blame: they did it wrong, they said it wrong - a lot of everything WRONG. He wants everything at once: he doesn’t want to wait, he doesn’t want to do one thing, but it’s good: He it takes a lot of things - to try everything and show everyone THAT HE CAN DO A LOT OF EVERYTHING, which means he is an exceptional person. And a teenager, as a rule, knows and can do a lot of things that his parents can’t and don’t know: even at least in within the school curriculum. And he has a legitimate question: “Why do I.