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From the author: Published in the newspaper "Etazh Novostey" of the city of Timashevsk on November 18, 2010 No. 45 (409) My thoughts today will be devoted to the most burning topic in the relationship between children and parents - the topic of adolescence. Nowadays they write and talk a lot about teenagers, about the problems of growth, physiology during this period, about how it is not easy for us, poor adults, with our older children. How many different emotions arise in our parents about adolescence. After all, just recently it was a sweet, kind, obedient baby, and now this growing organism is dissuading or is silent, locked in its room, listening to loud music or buried in the computer, or even worse, in general is almost never at home. We suffer - no doubt. Our parental pride is dealt a blow, we experience a lot of emotions about this: anger, resentment, irritation, disappointment, anger... Let's, dear parents, think together about how difficult it is for our teenagers to be with us. I invite us adults to look at ourselves through the eyes of children and reflect, trying to honestly answer a number of the following questions for ourselves: How does my son or daughter see me? Does he/she feel that I love him/her? Does he think that I understand him? Would I like him to talk to me the same way I talk to him? If, when we quarrel, I feel resentment, anger, then how does he feel about me? Would I like to be raised now the way I raised him? Does he feel lonely and misunderstood? Do we have at least one activity that we both enjoy doing? I’m sure that honest answers were not easy for many... What should I do? How can you establish contact before it’s too late with your child, who is still growing up? Modern pedagogy and psychology give many recommendations for raising children and adolescents, but it seems to me that there is the most important thing, and a wise rule that has long been known to everyone: Deal with your children the way you would like them to treat you. Learn to listen to a teenager, and he will want to listen to your word. Talk to your children the way you would want them to talk to you. Put yourself in the place of children, make only reasonable, logical demands on them, understand their humor and dream together with your children! If you feel that the problems in the development of your teenager or in your relationship with him have gone too far, and you yourself cannot cope – contact specialists in your city or region. Sincerely, Olga Viktorovna Afanasyeva, psychologist, mother of three, albeit already adult children.

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