Stephen Karpman, MD, developed his “drama triangle” - victim, rescuer, persecutor - almost 40 years ago, and I believe it is just as relevant - and just as new to many people - just like 40 years ago. Even if you don't spend much time playing any of these three roles yourself, you probably deal with people who play these roles on a daily basis. Learning to put on your "big girl" or "big girl" pants big boy" and getting out of the triangle is very important when dealing with people who want to pull us inside. Using our own wise mind to recognize when we ourselves slip into one of these roles (usually because we were forced to play these roles at an early age when we were raised in our family) is also necessary in order to make wise, informed choices in our intimate and social interactions with others. May the reflections and exercises below relieve you of much frustration and help you enjoy healthy, play-free relationships. REFLECTIONS The Drama Triangle is a dynamic model of social interaction and conflict developed by Dr. Karpman , when he was a student of Eric Berne, M.D., the father of transactional analysis.[Karpman and other clinicians note that "victim, rescuer, and persecutor" are roles that people unconsciously play or try to manipulate others, not actual circumstances in life person. There may be real victims of crime, racism, violence, etc.]. The three roles of the drama triangle are archetypal and easily recognizable in their extreme versions. Victims The victim position is “poor me!” Victims see themselves as victims, oppressed, powerless, helpless, hopeless, depressed and ashamed, and are seen as "oversensitive" and requiring "glove" treatment from others. They may deny any responsibility for their negative circumstances and be unable to change them. The person in the victim role will look for a rescuer, a savior who will save him (and if someone refuses or fails to do this, he may quickly perceive him now as a persecutor ).With regard to the destruction of resilience, victims have real difficulty making decisions, solving problems, enjoying life, or recognizing their self-sustaining behavior. RescuersThe rescuer's attitude is "Let me help you!". Rescuers go out of their way to help and care for other people, and even need the help of other people to feel good, while neglecting their own needs or not taking responsibility for meeting their own needs. Rescuers are classically codependent and enablers. They need the victims' help and often cannot allow the victim to succeed or improve. They may use guilt to keep the victim dependent, and feel guilty themselves if they do not rescue someone. In terms of destroying resilience, rescuers are often exhausted, overworked, tired, and have a martyr-like style, while Resentment is brewing in their soul. Persecutors The position of the persecutor: “It’s all your fault!” Harassers criticize and blame the victim, set rigid boundaries, and can be controlling, harsh, authoritative, angry, and unpleasant. They make the victim feel oppressed by threatening and intimidating them. From a resilience perspective, stalkers cannot bend, cannot be flexible, cannot be vulnerable, cannot be human; they are afraid of the risk of becoming a victim themselves. Persecutors yell and criticize, but they don't actually solve any problems or help others solve a problem. These are the most extreme versions of these three roles, but we may regularly encounter people playing softer versions of these roles. Since Dr. Karpman was student of transactional analysis