I think few people are motivated by the phrase “You have to do something, study, think, understand, etc.....” I can suggest that many have a mixed feeling of coercion and rejection when we hear the word MUST. At this moment, our emotional memory plunges (returns) us into the child-parent hierarchy in a split second. Eric Burn, in his book “Games, in that people play. People Who Play Games” takes a closer look at this relationship between a critical parent and an obedient child with far-reaching consequences. And even when we are away from our parents (at work or in family relationships), when we hear the word “should,” this feeling of superiority rises from the depths. above us. With fanatical zeal they are trying to squeeze us into certain frameworks, norms or traditions. Depending on how we have learned to protect ourselves from such pedagogical nonsense, we either obediently obey or stubbornly protest against exogenous (coming from outside) “care”. , some of you no longer agree with me and, in an attempt to justify yourself, will object that this is all being done for the good. For the good of whom? - a question for reflection. I don’t want to offend anyone, but for those who want to remain in the trap of excuses, I can suggest stopping reading. My teacher once said - “Coercion causes stubbornness, and motivation is interest and curiosity.” Remember your reaction to coercion. What would be even more interesting for you (scarier :)) I will say that coercion is one of the forms of violence or abuse (as you like)). To understand the reasons why they or we ourselves use the word MUST, think: what is hidden behind the impatient haste in using this word. Most often, these are excuses and excuses for lack of time for explanations, and what most are afraid to admit is a lack of interest in their opponent, which in total is pure manipulation. But there are exceptions when it comes to saving a life, for example. Even when we We say to ourselves “I must,” we burden ourselves with coercion and thereby throw a spoke in our wheels. What happens if we replace the word MUST with OBLIGATE? At first glance, these are synonyms, but in the second option, we ourselves, endogenously (from within) take responsibility for ourselves and those who need help. Duty, as a conscious strategy of our actions and decisions. In conclusion, I can only suggest that you treat your surroundings and your motives with interest, attention and care. Good luck to you!