How we deceive ourselves Sitting in a colleague’s front garden, I suddenly clearly understood how often we try to deceive the person closest to us - ourselves. “I, a little donkey,” she seemed to be telling me. “Well, why should I shoulder the burden of obligations, I have a husband, relatives and friends.” Olya, you must agree that it’s much easier this way. Why do I need this responsibility? I have children and I should think about them, and not about my career. A “bay horse” sat in front of me, full of strength, and for some reason tried to convince me (and above all herself) that she was a “donkey”. I was intoxicated by the beauty of the trees around and the mesmerizing singing of the birds, so I didn’t want to solve this riddle at all. Why is a beautiful, healthy, young woman trying to convince everyone that she is not like that? Realizing that at the moment she was not convincing me at all, but herself, I simply nodded to the beat. Why are we deceiving ourselves? 1. One of the most global reasons, it seems to me, is avoiding disappointments. After all, somewhere deep down, we all believe in our uniqueness. And if we do nothing, our uniqueness remains with us. I am unique, and the fact that confirmation of this never came true is only because I chose a different path, for example, to devote myself to children. Or, I never developed my talent, because I worked all my life in a boring job, because... I needed money here and now. I just didn’t do it, I didn’t try, because if I do and try, I might not succeed, then I’ll have to admit that there was no uniqueness. But I’m not ready for the naked truth, so I preferred to do nothing. 2. This is not a desire, the common people are lazy. Although, I have already written many times that I do not believe in the existence of laziness at all. I believe that laziness is where there is no motivation. If it exists, there can be no laziness. - To achieve some heights, you need willpower, endurance, composure, discipline, etc., but with my usual rhythm, I don’t need anything. Often there is no desire to make an effort and this applies to all areas of our lives. Don’t we know that if you exercise and eat right, you can have a stunning figure? - We know. And is there really a person who has been working out for years, eats right, but has never lost weight? - No. Then why don't we do it? Aren't we motivated to look good? - Eat. And we all know for sure what the result will be. But even despite this, not everyone achieves it. Half of us remain lying on the couch. The same applies to our development and career. A lot of books have been written, there are a huge number of blogs where people tell step by step how they achieved success. It would seem that take it and go, but no, we continue our “Groundhog Day”. 3. We live in the illusion of the wrong time. We are always waiting for the right time or a prosperous environment. The child must grow up or, on the contrary, I will be on maternity leave. When I finish my studies or vice versa I will do it. When I get a job or vice versa I leave and so on ad infinitum. We always look forward to our Monday. However, the calendar sheet with your achievements or not will still turn over. 4. We were taught this by others, friends, mothers, relatives or colleagues. Why? It was easier for them this way and they think it will be easier for you. - Know your place; - You can’t jump higher than your head; - Where you were born, that’s where you come in handy; - Every cricket, know your nest; - Those born to crawl cannot fly. Familiar sayings? They are the ones who prevent you from breaking the invisible ceilings in your head. There can be a great many reasons for self-deception, but not one of them will lead you to your goal. True, this is the reality of your life and the sooner you see it, the faster you can change something in your life.