A child who receives an unstable connection with his parents in childhood does not have an emotional basis for trust. For this reason, a child, and then an adult, is almost always in a state of internal stress and remains at a distance in communication. This is how children often become independent. They learn to be independent very quickly. It often seems to them that they do not belong to their mother, they were accidentally mixed up in the maternity hospital, or they attribute themselves only to their father’s genes. The habit of detachment and rejection is so strong that adults feel terrified of intimacy with another person. The closeness is unbearable. Behind this is the child's early experience with the parent. The experience of a child who seeks intimacy and love, but does not receive it, perhaps because he cannot meet their inflated demands or standards, in other words, trauma. Such people almost never know what I want, they have suppressed this feeling since childhood. In early experience , the child tries in every way, with achievements, to compensate for love, at least in the form of recognition, but often this does not succeed. When a child does not receive anything, but tries and makes an effort, a feeling is born that he is alone and now needs to do everything himself. The conviction is also formed that I don’t need anyone. Mistrust is instilled as a defense. You can only get rid of old wounds through therapy. Say an unconditional “Yes” to everything that happened, to all the circumstances of your life and to yourself. Accept responsibility for the here and now, regardless of previous experience. Having ceased to live in make-believe, to play roles that are not our own, life comes now. And then I say “Yes” to life to myself “Yes”, with all my experience. Having a split inside, when a person is internally in need and he is not satisfied, a tendency grows either to submit, or to withdraw, or to demonstrate his power. By choosing himself, his autonomy, we gain freedom from our own pain. Having achieved a certain degree of autonomy, a person can enter into relationships on a constructive basis, communicating from his healthy parts, and not from survival strategies. Sign up for a consultation Phone, WhatsApp, Viber +7-921-304-17-34 Skype: +79213041734 Vladimirova Yulia Nikolaevna