Children and divorce👩‍👦❌👨‍👧⠀⚠️I’ll make a reference to the words of the song by the group “Merry Guys”: “People meet, people fall in love, get married. I’m so unlucky in this that it’s just a disaster”⠀Do you know? What if after the wedding the relationship goes to a new level and they decide to become parents? in a moment to be part of a large and friendly family 🙌🏻⠀ Of course, everything doesn’t go smoothly, quarrels, misunderstandings, resentments arise, and then someone takes the situation into their own hands and says: “That’s it, we’re getting a divorce” 🤬⠀ What should I do? 🤔Sorry, but it seems in this situation everyone has forgotten about one important person in the family - the child🤷🏻‍♂️What about his feelings? What should he think? How can I explain to him why dad is leaving? Who can help him with this? Psychologists! No, really. Psychologists can only guide parents to solve the problem. This is, in fact, what I was bringing you to 😏⠀ Often parents think like this:➖ he’s small, he won’t remember anything, he’ll forget and won’t remember➖ he’s already big, he understands everything and he will it’s easier to bear it.⠀Parents, if you think so, then this is a mistake❗️ At any age, a child understands what is happening, and over time it will begin to affect his actions, his emotions and, in general, his character‼️⠀📝Background. To me A guy recently contacted me. His father left the family when he was exactly one year old. Remember yourself in a year. Absurd. You won’t remember, because the brain of a small child is not yet fully formed to remember events, even the most vivid ones. This guy had the same thing 🤪But everything turned out smoothly in his life, his mother found a good husband, who was the guy’s stepfather. And he called him “dad”! Soon he himself became the father of two wonderful children. And guess what? All this time he lived with questions in his head: “Why did my own father leave? Why didn't he come all this time? Why does he live in a neighboring house and never say hello on the street? What did I do to him, I was only a year old?” 🤦🏻‍♂️⠀Parents, do you hear this!? Who is to blame for this? Of course, parents! They did not think that this could cause lifelong harm to their child. But in the case of the guy, everything turned out well. After our consultations, he decided to let go of the situation and move on with his life 👍📌 So, every child, when parents quarrel, turns out to be a hostage to your problem and its involuntary participant. It is difficult for us to understand how a child experiences this. Children, when their parents divorce, if you do not seek the help of a specialist, may experience dull feelings, which are then revealed at any age. My advice would be this: If divorce can still be prevented, then it is important at this moment to be as close to each other as possible . It is unlikely that my colleagues will agree with me. My opinion is “Divorce must be stopped.” But ❗If this does happen, it is important to make sure that the child does not feel on anyone’s side, at least feels the discomfort of not having one or the other parent. What needs to be done for this? There is no specific formula 🤷🏻 ♂️ There is a lot of work on yourself, on your feelings and emotions, patience, and also work with the second person (husband or wife). But you and your child will reap the benefits of all this. Therefore, be careful in family relationships, even after a divorce ☝️ Even if dad leaves the family, you don’t need to label him “You’re just like your father,” “You act like your mother.”⚠If you can’t solve the problem on your own, it’s better to contact for help from a psychologist⚠️Your psychologist Rushan Salakhetdinov.