On the train from Moscow to Tver, on the bench next to mine, three young men were sitting. Ordinary guys in their twenties. Each of them had a bottle of beer and a pack of dried squid in their hands. The guys were quite animatedly discussing some work issues, and one of them generously peppered his speech with swear words. I was reading a magazine, and at every swear word from them I lost a line. Gradually getting irritated, she could not stand it and turned to the swearing young man. Looking into his eyes, she asked his name. He answered something unintelligible. I said: “You say swear words, they really hurt my ears. Please do not …". The young man apologized, and the rest of the way avoided such expressions. And I looked at him carefully during the dialogue. A pleasant blue-eyed guy, thin, agile and lively. He seemed smart and very lively to me. His two traveling companions are calmer, smoother, and somewhat slow. I looked around and noticed many men had beer in their hands; they often went out to smoke in the vestibule. Both alcohol and tobacco are obviously harmful to the person who consumes them. Why do these men so persistently destroy themselves? This is aggression directed at ourselves. The swear words in that young man’s speech are verbal aggression. But he didn’t direct it at anyone, he simply splashed it out. Perhaps healthy aggression in these men does not find a natural outlet, and they vent it through such destructive behavior? Aggression is necessary for humans to exist. Without it, it is impossible to maintain the integrity of the body and become an individual, to cultivate one’s individuality. I like the idea of ​​Konrad Lorenz described in the book “Aggression” that it is the driving force of development. Aggression as a phenomenon can be used in an infinite number of behavior options. It can be regarded as a threat if it is used as a destructive action, and as a benefit if it preserves or protects something. The assessment of an aggressive phenomenon depends on social norms and subjective perception. And often these positions can be in conflict. The situation in the carriage I described above was ambiguous. The young man's abusive speech clearly violated the norms of socially acceptable behavior, and from a moral point of view, I was right in interrupting his verbal aggression. But by interfering in someone else’s conversation, I also showed aggressive behavior. In my understanding, healthy aggressiveness is manifested in actions sufficient for self-preservation; all actions of influence and imposition not related to physical self-defense are already perceived by the opponent as hostile. With a soft tone of voice, a friendly expression on my face and the word “please,” I softened my aggressive statement. This was enough to agree with the young man on acceptable behavior during the journey. But by and large, the question of aggression that was suppressed, repressed and sublimated into destructive behavior remained with me. In the very recent past, a person had to move a lot and do physical work, and this was a natural manifestation of normal aggressiveness. People also hunted and participated in battles - this was socially accepted behavior. Men even “conquered” a woman. Now scientific and technological progress has deprived us of all these natural forms of aggressive behavior. What's left? Sports for movement and competition for belligerence. While I was thinking like this, two more young men entered the carriage and sat down next to me. They heatedly discussed their sporting achievements in recent competitions, actively interspersing normal words with obscenities....Sad. It turns out it's not that simple. This is the same as in our women's world. It turns out that doing fitness and “dieting” is not enough to stop destroying your body by overeating. In order to live in a healthy, slender body and a healthy, happy life, you will have to understand your needs and aspirations, including aggressive ones. Yes, a psychologist is the one here!