Your child's growing up, including adolescence, is a unique opportunity to transform the family system, to discover the potential of adults, to transform each family member. Adults can do amazing work within themselves while their children are growing up. Adults can grow spiritually together with their children. If at some point we stop in our development, we have lost touch with the present. And we become backward, ancient, decrepit. And it’s not about wrinkles, not about unfashionable clothes, not about the fact that we don’t know about a new application or program and don’t know how to use it, it’s about the fact that we have stopped living in the present. And problematic situations and experiences for us start precisely during this time period. If we constantly learn, develop, communicate with our confessors, mentors, if we go our own way, our children go through all age-related crises, including adolescence, very softly, almost imperceptibly. A crisis occurs as a transition to a new form of development, as learning something new and necessary, as the development of new skills and forms of behavior necessary at the next stage of life. I know many families where the crises of their children’s growing up went very calmly and smoothly. Why is this happening? Because the mother has no time to quarrel with the child and be angry with him, the mother is busy with self-development: learning a new language, exploring her capabilities, practicing vocals, painting, studying in a new approach - the mother is included in life. And, having come home, such a mother shares her discoveries, insights, and knowledge with her child, her family. And at the same time, the mother is interested in the child’s achievements. Mom is in contact with him, she teaches him openness. Mom shows by her own example that the world is wonderful - it is interesting, it is safe, it is beautiful. Mom encourages and inspires. And you shouldn’t think that when your child enters adolescence, he has already grown up, there is no need to educate him - like “upbringing is over.” No, it hasn't ended, it continues. But it continues on a qualitatively different level: when you listen, listen to the child, share your own example. Children constantly need knowledge about the modern world. They themselves, as soon as they can, obtain this very knowledge. They also want the example of their parents. An example of how to live in this world. Children require confirmation that the world is not aggressive, it is kind, welcoming and safe. And we must give such positive examples from our own lives. And then we age more slowly, we constantly develop, and children learn from us. And when we talk a lot and don’t listen to our children, when we challenge their truth, they feel injustice, misunderstanding, challenge in response what we say, do not agree , angry, offended. And in their words it sounds: “Mom, what are you doing? In fact, everything is completely wrong. If you finally get involved in life, you will see that everything is completely different, everything is different, everything has been new for a long time.” . Parents are offended by their children: “He (s) doesn’t listen to me, doesn’t want to hear, snaps at me, contradicts me..." But what do the children really want to say with their remarks? “Mom, I love you! I don’t want you to I’m getting old! I need you! I really need your love! I really, really need your understanding.” But if we don’t develop, if we lack wisdom, we hear something completely different from our children! what they want to convey to us. Through resentment we only hear: “You are not like that at all! You are outdated! There is nothing to talk about with you!” And a distortion occurs in two directions: parents are offended, children are offended, hiding and suppressing anger, irritation, rage, shame deep within themselves, guilt and other feelings. And at this time, destructive, destructive, destroying programs of somatic and psychosomatic diseases are launched. Mutual misunderstanding spoils the relationship between children and parents. Often for a long time. Sometimes for good. I suggest you think about this topic. Let your relationship with your children.